Mm.
Lately things have been just *whoa*. I'm trying to pay attention but I'm off in my own la la land. Cande and I had another one of those ' heart to heart ' talks and hrm.. it's going back to our original theory. Frustrating.. just slightly. So mannnny questions. I just want to curl up into a ball and sleep. Man, that would be great. Take a nap and not have to wake up from it.
Reading back on older diary entries, I used to be so.. *happy* full of life.. now I'm drained and trying to keep my life in order. Life got so complicated.. quicker then you can say "I-wanna-stay-home-with-my-mommie!" But eventually I'm assuming that all this too, will fade away with time.
If I had the city life. Things would be so much more interesting. I'm going to do another one of those wants and wishes list. They seem to really relieve my tension.
I want to graduate highschool.
I want to know if Kei is real or not.
I want Cande to stop worrying.
I wish we didn't take his appearance for granted.
I wish we werent so skeptical.
I think that I am really a happy go lucky Rainbow Brite at heart.
I used to watch that movie all the time.
I lost that movie along time ago when we moved.
I lost my Little Mermaid tape as well.
I love Ariel.
I used to sing the part when she gives her voice to Ursula, evertime.
I wanted to be a singer once.
I doubt myself too much.
Yet I'm so easy trusting.
You could tell me you were an assassin with an import anime company as your cover and I would believe you!
Oh wait.. I've already had that happen.
Damn the conspiracy of it all.
I used to be very witty.
I used to laugh at everything.
I laughed uncontrollably today.
It was weird.
I feel like I'm off in my own little world.
There are select few who can see and hear me.
That number changes everyday.
Fluctuation is the work of the devil.
I hate having serious conversations over IM, they're satan.
I prefer the telephone, because you can hear a persons expression.
I want to be the president of Aol one day.
I also want to be a writer.
I have had that dream since I was twelve.
Did you know I've had almost five poems published?
I stopped writing in my free time when Kei left.
I Promised him that I would write a book about it all.
I have written nothing down.
Just printed conversations.
Toby asked how many times I've read it.
I read it like its my bible.
I don't really know if I believe in God.
I used to.. I've been baptised twice.
So technically, I'm a fucked up catholic baptist agnostic girl.
That makes no sense.
We're learning about Christianity in Humanities.
I actually read ' Genesis ' in my text book.
Doesn't our idiot state have some law about that?
Thats so retarded.
Genesis is the only chapter of the bible I've read completely.
No lies.
I wish it would snow.
I'm all out of diet vanilla coke.
Mom acccidentally bought diet.
I should be on a diet.
I'm all talk about it.
No mo-to-vation.
I hate this diaryland template.
I want to change it.
I need to change it.
I dont have the time to change it.
I need to take a shower.
I've never been to Paris, France.
Does anyone know where Lille is located?
I wonder if they pronounce it 'lilly' or 'lill'.
In French you dont prounouce the last letter of a word unless its an accented E.
It's probably Lille.
I need to study for French.
I passed with C for the semester.
My first C ever.
That was a shocker.
Not really, I knew I was doing poorly.
I wonder if Kei will learn english by the time I graduate.
You know he calls it Engrish?
Thats the way he probably says English.
Engrish.
The L turns into the R.
Wow.
Courtney