Well today was actually debatable of whether I wanted to get up and go to school or not. Sometimes I find myself wondering what the hell am I going here for? Then I stop for a second, take a deep breath, and remember that without finishing highschool being with Yuu, Kei, and Naka is impossible. Therefore okay, I sigh, throw my legs over the side of the bed and get up. Although today was abnormally slow at this process, I made it here to school.
I keep find myself wondering more and more, what is wrong with me? I mean sure, having a boyfriend in highschool now is so overrated... with the high rate that a boy will be changable in his tastes of a girl and my qualities and needs are very difficult to meet. So I've virtually made it impossible for myself to keep a boyfriend, even if there was someone who showed the slightest interest. But there isn't so it's not like it really matters. I just hope that I don't spend the rest of my datable life helping out Yuu and Kei that I don't have a love life of my own. Not that I mind it at all, it's a wonderful thing to say that I help along. I just wonder about myself sometimes.
Kei said that he promises to come and kill me if I ever cut again. x_x I believe he was quite serious... so that intertwining with Yuuriko's promise I made, should be enough I'm hoping. It's difficult you know.. when I stop getting answers to my questions.. it starts to eat me alive. but therapy is going okay and there's only twenty six days until Yuuriko comes for Spring Break. I'm estatic and sometimes even unbelieving that it's going to happen.
I've been thinking more and more what I'm going to do for the summer. I would like to stay with Yuu for a month or two, what a fun ordeal that would be .But my dad has this insane idea that for the week of my birthday I have to spend it on some fucking roadtrip to Illinois to visit with my family which is in turn HIS family that I have never met before. So okay, whatever. Lets just say, I'm not going. End of story. I refuse... it's just that simple.
This is kind of short.. and I didn't even end up getting my Algebra I done like I was planning to. Atleast I finished up Biology. Free period in here today. I wonder if Kei's letters and present will reach Yuu today... I'm hoping so anyway. Im out.
Courtney