I can't speak enough of what I hope to have in the end. What I hope for all of us to have when this is all over. A peace of mind, a smile, a laugh, and a better sense of life. Each of us...All four. To say I don't think of it in every spare moment would be a lie. Every free moment my school day or home life allows me, is focused on mapping out my future.. In a way, all of our future. Yes, I have taken on the assignment willingly to make sure that this ends the way it's supposed to. And who am I to say that this is the way it's supposed to end? I am no one to say such things, but only that I believe in them enough, therefore they just can't be any other way. One could call me an optimist.. naive.. and push me along my way. But that would do unjustice! To the emails, the phone calls, the voicemails.. acting on the other's behalf when they are gone. All those long five months!! I was your defendant in a place that I wasn't even sure existed. I had no business saying you loved her. I wasn't even left with a direct statement with such. But I did it anyway, because I believed that it was true. There just couldn't be anyway. Life doesn't throw people at you for a reason. Some people stay.. some people go.. some people never stay long enough. But you.. there was no sense in you. To leave and not return? That was absurd. I couldn't comprehend it. I wouldn't. For Yuuriko, for whatever sake of love.. regardless. I kept that flame going in the dead chill of those winter months between you two. All of our endings, or the beginning of what we would like to call the ending, rest's upon the love of you both. The careful planning that I schemed in my head, conversing it with Yuuriko.. finally to enter you and Nakaruru in it eventually. June 21, 2002. That's how long I've been here. Two years in this same scene.. slowly... ever so slowly did I watch things grow.. I did! Finally, september.. it was admited.. and then it vanished just as quickly. Love just doesn't dissapear. Atleast, I wouldn't allow my best friend's to. I fought for her just as much as I did for you. I emailed Naka when I got the chance and didn't feel like I was probing her for small information.. even when she flat out told me that there was really not a chance we'd talk anymore.. and that you didn't believe she'd keep her promise.. I kept trying. My spirits died slowly, not at all the rapidly declining rate that Yuuriko's was. Night after night of promising her over and over you were real. That you weren't a product of both our idle minds. Finally things had reached a point where I couldn't handle it anymore.. I was destructive to relationships in school. I couldn't focus. So finally, I dialed that number.. only to hear it ring and ring.. wanting someone to pick up. Everytime I tried that number, standing at that payphone... I hoped to someone.. anyone.. that you'd pick up. You'd tell me, Everything would be okay. You'd come back and save her from her darkness that threatened to close over. You did, but in such a different way. That night, January 17th.. you came back... I'll never forget it.. I've been keeping coversation after conversation since then.. to remind myself and Yuuriko that things can't end just as quickly again. Trial after tribulation that's come so far, we've all endured. I, the curious one, her.. the hopeless romantic threatening to cut her heart away from her.. you.. dismissing the emotion because it honestly shouldn't have been there.. and your sister.. supporting in everything that she could. We did it. And this is yet another struggled we've come through thus far. I can't give an exact median of what possiblities are to come our way Keisuke, but if it's hurting Yuuriko.. or anyone you love for that matter.. I don't think they have that much power over you. Yes, they can switch that small switch in your brain.. yes they can control every move you make. The writings I produce are a reminder that I am still thinking, a reminder that what I have knowledge of is indeed extrodinary. How many fourteen year olds do you know that immerse themselves in the pursuit of her close friend's love affairs and knows of underground associations that do things very unheard of? This of course, is a curse just as much as a blessing. To get to the point of this rambling while you are out for a walk... is there is no way.. that the dreams.. aspirations.. loves... ideas.. hopes.. of ALL FOUR people can be crashed and burned so horribly. There is only one love of your life.. one that you know. . if you leave.. they were the one.. You've found yours, as she has found hers. Of course, there are some minor problems inbetween.. but all and all.. do I not speak of truth? This love can only grow.. and unless you have been told directly that this love will die.. I can't see it happening any other way. I give no claim to seeing visions.. or things of the future.. but this is so deeply interwined with every though.. every wish that I could make upon every star in the sky... And it's the future of us four. You, Me, Yuuriko, and Nakaruru. I hope in a way, this can help ease your mind... from whatever you are thinking on at the moment.. or if not ease.. help in some way. Talk to me Keisuke, I am here for you just as much as you are here for me. Unless you truly believe my hopes to be already marked dead... then I don't see you far off from believing in the same things I do. Thank you.. I hope you had a great walk.