4:35 p.m. & Tuesday, May. 04, 2004
Months ago I remember adding an entry entitled, " Highschool Hell. " Now today, has by far beat that entry out.. under any circumstance you can think of. Saturday afternoon I got my haircut. Now the length it used to be.. to oh about my shoulders to say.. it was nice long, but severly annoying. In enlightenment to the summer thats approaching, I wanted a no hassle, new look. That was short, but not too short.. so yeah. I had like everyone and their brothers mothers cousin telling me, " Oh... it looks... uh... different. " It got me so frustrated that people had the nerve to say degrading comments to my face.. not to mention in fourth period the girls across the room were whispering, looking at me constantly, then breaking out into giggles... Then one girl goes, " Oh you're so wrong.. " To the other one. Want to guess what they're talking about? :sigh: but enough of my delay. Here's the downlow on the haircut.
It took some getting used to, but I dont really mind it anymore. :twirls around:
As far as school things go, I'm as tight as a button in that area. Only two more Monday's left until we don't go to school. Exams are the 21st.. and graduation night is then. I'm freaking about the whole moving thing. I mean sure, I welcome the change and all.. but still. -_- I don't want to go now. I can remember last summer just like it was yesterday.. and all of a sudden... it just seems like everything is going by so fast.
There are things going on inside that I can't really tell anyone.. or rather I can but it would just cause a whole mess of problems. Again with the avoidance of saying things in attempt not to piss anyone off.
I was thinking a lot today about what's going to happen this summer and how alone I'm going to be. Not like being alone is a bad thing, it makes me more prone to get out and make friends. With the move.. and knowing no one in Georgia... Yuu going to Florida, Japan, and South Carolina this summer... and Kei having to work all the time.. I'm going to be bored out of this little noggin. But who knows, perhaps this summer will be the start of something good. Or atleast thats what I keep telling myself.
It's almost five o'clock. Where has this day gone? Mmm. It's warm outside today.. I would walk, but I'm deathly afraid of getting lost due to the new road work they've been doing.. I get lost because they've blocked off the road of my main path. Suckers. So yeah.
I have to go in for surgery again to put my tube in. [ ears, think ears people. ] They want to do it in the office without putting me to sleep... Unless they have five male nurses handy to hold me down, I don't see how that's going to go. I wish the idiot Doctor, [ who wasn't my regular one by the way. ] could just stick to the old fashion ways of putting me under so I dont have to feel, see, or endure any pain. But no.. the fucker wants me to sit upright while he sticks the tube in my ear.. so I can flinch, groan, cry, and want to die because the bastard is messing with my ear. Rwar. Can you tell I'm unhappy about this? I am so going to make it my goal to be uncooperative if he doesn't give into me eventually and just put me under. Bite his hand or something, kick him in the balls by accident.. Ugh.
Mom keeps telling me when we get to Georgia I will still go to Therapy. I've decided personally though, that I don't need it anymore. I think I should have the right to pull myself out when I deem myself ready. I mean hell... almost seven months I've been going. I'm done. So.. yeah.. May tenth is my last appointment.. I dont cut anymore and I'm no longer mopingly depressed. I think that qualifies me to be out, no? Anyway. I'm out. End of story. Ta da!
Courtney
lover you don't have to love - Sunday, Jul. 06, 2014
- - Thursday, Dec. 22, 2005
Catch up? - Tuesday, Sept. 20, 2005
nothing - Monday, Aug. 29, 2005
missing dland - Thursday, Aug. 04, 2005