I'm uneasy right now, teetering between what I know is wrong and what I know is right. These thoughts have plagued me all day, sleep washes throughout me. Perhaps if I could sleep this off, I wont be left to wonder in this pretty little head of mine. Everything's fine, Oh I promise, but to sit here... The unknown grows wider as I battle with my own morality. A thought scares me, forcing all thoughts to disperse. I can't hold onto them, I can't hold long enough to ask those questions I so want to ask. So I'll wait for a tomorrow, knowing that it just will never come. Scrub my past clean, I won't be able to forget. This life that I've created, lived in, enjoyed, cried for, hated, and embraced. For all of the things.. I am myself. For all those that have left me.. may you find a better life then I could contribute to. I'm sitting here inbetween cross roads, sighing for no reason. Honestly, I don't really know why I complain... why I write in here day after that. It's all becoming the same, if I could distinguish everything like I used to.. we wouldn't have that lacking problem. Everything's a mess when it's perfectly fine. God, I would kill for a straight forward conversation to Keisuke or Yuuriko right now. But everyone is busy.. I'm a victim of my own success. : rubs eyes : I am sleepy.. Keisuke is probably preoccupied with Shigurei, doubt we'll see him tonight. But who knows, I hope they both have fun though. Although, I'm not going to voice my opinions on that.. because I wasn't asked. : nod : Plus, it's not wanted. . I mean.. really.. It's quite the opposite of everything. Damn. I've used that word too much tonight.. " everything.. " What is everything? Me? My life? The people in it? The world? Oh goddamnit, just a rantings of someone who has way too much time. I want someone to talk to me.. tell me that I'm needed.. tell me that I'm all they ever wanted in a friend.. and sure, I know it, but I want to hear it. I need to hear it. That's just me. I need to know I'm important.. or I'll assume otherwise. Talk about being fucked up. I'm running from everything.. And I've just tripped. Tainted love... don't touch me please I cannot stand the way you tease.. I love though you hurt me so.. Now I'm gonna pack my things and go.. tainted love.. ohhh.. tainted love.. oohhh.. tainted love.. ohhh.. tainted..love.. touch me baby tainted love.. touch me baby tainted love. Tainted love. Ohhh.. Tainted love!
Courtney