Well, it's official, once more. Keisuke's gone again. And of course it would be repeative to state that It didn't have much effect on me, but then again I'd be lying. Tseng is actually living under his house. He gave Keisuke the choice to either cut all contact with Yuuriko and myself or he'd go after us. And of course, what else would Kei do? He's in love with Yuuriko.
Decisions are left to fate then. For I will ask nothing of the one who's given so much up already. Goddess willing, paths will cross again soon. Demons wanting, time parted may extend beyond our sight. Journies take you to distant lands, yet closer to me. Though eyes will watch from the mirrored tower above. Days marked for that of your return And prayers made for my own. Troubles come and go, Send them all away, Even at any cost, Never Give up, Save your soul, Hell may come, Embrace it, Release yourself to it, Even at the cost of your soul.
That was his last message to us. If those who caught the acronym from his message it read " Tsengs Here. " Eventually he got on later that night and explained everything to us in a quick ten minutes. A few seconds later, Tseng stolled up in a taxi home from getting wasted. The worse is yet to come. Strangely this period of Kei being gone will be different than the one before. We know what's going on, we know so much more about the Firm's world. We know that he loves Yuuriko with all his heart. I know that he's still my big brother. Nothing's changed, only that Tseng is in his house threatening to kill us at his whim if Keisuke doesn't submit to him.
Yuuriko keeps on talking about when she gets back from Japan, how she's going down to Florida. She wants to get rid of this problem invading her 'husband to be'.. and all in once she'd figure this whole mess out. I support her 100%. I mean hell, thats what I want to do when I get out of Highschool. I want to be her technical support and eyes and ears. I intend on entering this business as planned a long time ago. It's time we figured this killing business out. Now if I were to look back and ask if I had guilt, I dont know what I'd say. Only that.. I will do whatever I need to, to ensure I have a good life, be with those that I love, and protect whom I need to. Yuuriko is protecting me.. but I will help her protect everyone else as well. Keisuke, Nakaruru, Shigurei.. all of them. It's going to work out one day. It has to.
Anything else would be highly anti-climax and dissapointing.
On another note, I'm officially registered at Hardaway International Baccalaureate Highschool. Mmhm. I finally got my transcript. I ended up with a 3.2 average. No C's at all. All A's and B's. That's impressive.. because I was damn near positive that I failed my French Exam. But nope. Passed the class with a whopping 87%. Go me. I deserved it for all the work I put it at the end of the last semester.
I've been a music addict lately. I got the new Lostprophet's cd and the new Lola Ray cd. You know, this entry is sort of making me sick. I can talk about wanting a killing profession later in life, progress to talking about the exceptional Highschool I got into, and then onto how I'm becoming a 'tad of a music addict' lately. I surprise myself, honestly, I do. But then again I look into everything I've been through so far.. and it only seems to make so much more sense.
I ended up getting in a lot of trouble from the hickey I got from Greg. Although this hasn't prevented me from talking to him and falling over him so much more. I think it's slowly going to kill me.. I mean.. liking him more and more? But knowing that I can't possibly have hime. I mean.. one, he just got out of a serious relationship.. two, he's too far away and three, I'm not so sure he'd want me anyway. On the second hand, he said that what he did with me on the 4th.. was because he liked me. Not because he wanted to get back at Beth of because he had nothing better to do. This whole dating game is complicated. But you win some and you lose some. And then there are some that end up being bonus rounds. I guess Greg was a definate bonus round. But then again, why do I call him everyday? Why do I want to write him letters? Why do we talk on IM? Why do I tell him I miss him and I'm thinking about him? To hell if I know. But back to my mother getting upset at me. You should have seen the death look on her face. Although I understood completely why she was mad. It was because of the fact that I had just met Greg THAT day. And in that same day, I managed to make out with him. Of course that wasn't the version of the story she got, but a close enough one.. and even that was enough to get me into trouble. Although she didn't ground me, only told me how dissapointed in me she was. I confirmed to her that my morales have never been stronger. I would never have gone 'too far' with Greg. I still would never have sex at this age. She seemed to be convinced.. and let it go. But at this price, I can't stay the night at Josh's house for sometime. And I accept my punishment and know that her judgement was a fair one. But regardless of her punishment or judgement, I still like Greg. I still would like to get to know him. I'm kicking myself in the ass though. How is it that I've finally found a boyfriend, but he's four hours away? I just moved here! The purpose was trying to find someone I could relate to HERE.
Brant called today. Small talk. He only called because I called him first. It's funny how that works. I still dont feel fifteen, by the way.
Always,
Courtney