Mm. Life has been renewed in such an interesting sense. I'm no longer as lost as I thought I was. Or atleast as lost as I was making myself seem.
I drove four hours to Huntsville yesterday, only to meet the smiling face of someone familiar. Do you have the smallest idea how that was for me? .05 seconds flat I was already smiling and ready to laugh. It was like old times.. and I truly, truly, want that back. Josh and I caught up on old stuff. Back to the Brother and Sister routine. I loved it. Just to finally be away from that god foresaken shithole of Georgia and finally be with a friend. All the stress of the past three months dissapeared. I forgot everything I was going through. I forgot that I was upset with Brant. I forgot how lonely I was here. I forgot how impossible things were becoming. I forgot all that and I smiled.
Josh had told me prior to coming that his 'boy toy' Greg would be going to the mall with us and spending the night as well. Of course, I had already spoken with him and gotten a picture.. [ who's surprised? I'm omnipotent. XD ] So I was already comfortable with the guy before I had even met him. And of course, anyone who was good enough to be able to hang out with Josh, was more then good for me. So we get to the mall, I'm clad in my "Malfoy" tee from Hot Topic, this cute skirt I bought with ruffles [ my girly side coming out. XD ] , and fishnets that came with it. [ FINALLY! Two years of wanting to get them. ] We're walking around, supposed to meet Greg infront of an arcade. And Boom, there we go. A very hot gothic looking boy sitting there on the bench. I do have to say, I haven't had a lust for someone that bad in forever. So I put on my prettiest smile [ without faking of course, I was already happy enough. ] and said "Hello." And that was that. It was like I had known Greg as long as I had known Josh. He was funny, the personality was over flowing. Mm.. Not to mention the hotness. I almost melted when I first saw him. So we gallavanted around the mall for quite sometime, before we went to Walmart. But during the duration of this mall period, his girlfriend Beth, calls him. From what I collected she has done nothing but treat him horribly. So we already know that in my head I'm like, " Well if I was his girlfriend.. I won't be doing---.. " You know. Things like that. He gets horribly depressed over it. Josh and I attempt to perk him up. It works! Voila!
The Walmart expedition was a short one. Enough for Josh to get us all CD's. [ He got me the Lostprophets cd. ^__^ Woo ] After that we all went back to Josh's house to hang out. This faded into going for a walk after Beth had called him again [ annoying, no? ] and depressed him once more. And once again, Josh and I cheered him up. We hung out at what they called the 'stream' although I rather noted that it was just water flowing from the crop field through a tunnel. Buuutttt... yeah. It was fun never the less. I wasn't surprised that Josh waded in the water. Flashbacks reoccured.. to the many times where the 'middle school' brigade all played in the rain. Meh. But moving on.
This eventually moved back to Josh's house. We watched movies. And continously, I was wayyyyy more content then I've been in sometime. But all of a sudden I realized the little things that Greg started to do. Help me up when I fell, talked to me, pulled me close to him... and then finally when we both ended up in the kitchen together at once.. We kissed. Mm. I knew from that moment that this night was going to be a rememberable one.
" I dont see why any guy wouldn't like you. "
He leaned forward and then kissed my forehead. 3:00 in the morning. I was never happier.
All in all, it felt great to hang out with Josh and meet a new person, Greg. I'm still rubbing my hickeys off as we speak. But I wanted to note something in here that was special to me. That, Greg, although I had only spent one day with him. Felt inclined to ask why any guy wouldn't like me. This is the kind of boyfriend I want in the future. This is the kind of healthy relationship I've always wanted. In his arms, I felt wanted, needed, desired, and sought after. Although I have to sadly note that Greg and I have no future. He's Josh's boy toy after all, but in all honesty, long distance relationships? Nah? Never been for me. But Greg. He showed me again, what being with someone could be like.
Courtney
[ This song? Lostprophets : Goodbye Tonight. Point of view? Brant to me. Yeah, I'm a dork. But it's about time. And if he were to ever give me this song, I would agree with him. ]
Tonight, I felt stonger, Inside of your ways,It takes alot to get home, But its ok when the light is always on
I just want you to understand, theirs no need to keep waiting.
Another day in another hand, it could be so different.
A Letter to me, your wasting time,
You know you could be, Yea you could try
But Tonight you'll get it right,
You will make a difference...
Tonight, Tonight, Tonight,
I Feel stronger,
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye,
If i could see through, even so far away
Its all you need too, make it through another day.
Surprise, Scream your heart out,
Inside you will hand down,
Today it all seems too stong
If only you tried you would move on
I just want you to understand, theirs no need to keep waiting.
Another day in another hand, it could be so different.
A Letter to me, your wasting time,
You know you could be, Yea you could try
But Tonight you'll get it right,
You will make a difference...
Tonight, Tonight, Tonight,
I Feel stronger,
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye,
If i could see through, even so far away
Its all you need too, make it through another day.
Tonight, Tonight, Tonight,
I Feel stronger,
Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye,
If i could see through, even so far away
Its all you need too, make it through another day...