Drinking: Vanilla Coke
Hearing: Lola Ray - Automatic Girl
Mood: Upbeat
Reasing to aforementioned: Birthday and dancing to Lola Ray in my seat
Watching: Selena [ On Lifetime ]
Thinking about: Tomorrow
" Shrink wrap, you're kissing plastic. Love make my mind up when you return. I dont know what has happened to me these days. But it feels like love in the strangest ways. How much have you learned? How much have you learned? Dont fear because when you return, Ill be here. Waiting by your side, it doesn't matter dear. This is the end of the world so it seems. Ive got automatic love for automatic girl. This is the end of the world that I see. Automatic girls for automatic boys, automatic toys for automatic girls, everything keeps the melody.. I've got a couple of killing machines. "
Automatic Girl : Lola Ray
Today went better than I thought it would go. The loneliness didn't really get to me and I got a ton of Happy Birthday's. Although my mood also tends to incline in light of new purchases and loads of cash. This reminds me of a John Mayer song though, " Something's Missing. " Yeah.. Definately ditto to his song lyrics for that one. Something's missing and no matter how much I drown my sorrow in merchandise reciepts it never seems to go away.
I'm Fifteen now! Jesus Christ. I'm getting old. [ Just kidding, promise. ] I can officially go get my permit---.. oh no wait. I live in Georgia now. You know they REQUIRE all drivers to attend a Drivers Ed Course before you are allowed to even test for your permit? It's insane. So until I come up with the cashe to spare for Drivers Ed, they'll be no permit for Courtney. Ugh.
Strangely I believe that solitude strengthens. Lately I've not been so dependant on people like I once was. I'm not calling everyone from Fort Campbell twenty four seven. [ although I am delievering Brant a little bit of the guilt trip with every other phone call. ] I still write letters and I call people when I'm bored out of my noggin. But it's nothing really desperate. Thank god.
Tomorrow I'm going to finally see my first familiar face [ excluding family members ] for the first time since I've moved. Josh. And he wants me to meet his friend Greg. That should be fun. Atleast I'm looking forward to it. But then again a chance out of here and to someone that I actually know? You bet I'm along for the ride.
Keisuke has been missing for almost a full two weeks now. No a word. No letters. No calls. Nothing. I dont know what's going on. Although thus far with every leave he's taken, there's been one more returning. If possible, oddly, I believe he's coming back. He always has before so why should he stop now? Last news was that he finished a mission and was working on relocating closer to the Facility. Hm. Perhaps he's busy? Cande says that she feels something's wrong with him. Perhaps Tseng decided to inflict more pain on his already troubled soul. That's a minimal fear though. My biggest goes back to Memory Blocking. What if he's forgotten us? Everytime so far though, he's managed out just fine. There's the saying though, there's a first time for everything. Ugh. Blows. But yes. Saul, if you're still keeping and care about keeping track.. I wrote a rather long summary about my portion of 'organized crime.' So if you wouldn't mind, it's about two entries back.
I had a Happy Birthday today. The first in a long time. Not what I suspected. Crazy life we live, no?
Courtney