What are my dreams coming to?
Now when I sleep I'm remembering memories.
There are no pretend stories.
Last night I dreamt about a time in 8th grade where everything was perfect.
I believe it's perfectly ironic how my brain associaties pure and perfect with 8th grade. I was only thirteen yet my mind was much more clearer and dependable then it is now. But it's funny.
It was during my 8th grade year, despite the purity and perfection-- that I met Yuuriko and Keisuke. But the funny part is? It was just a Rp group. Just the Vampire Chronicles. It was just friends I talked to life about. Who I made jokes with and asked if that post was okay. Well it would be the end of that summer that those friendships evolved into something that I'm not sure I can even comprehend sometimes. And I mean that in a good way. These are people who I've bared my soul to and they've done it right back. These are people with complex personalities and mind boggling pasts that always seem to be apart of them.
You know what's so crazy?
It's when you meet people like this, these once in lifetime friendships that you immediately make plans.
I mean who knew that my pure-- perfect... 13 year old self was already starting to formulate a plan for who I was going to be with after Highschool. [ Mind you, I hadn't even entered it yet! ] I had everything out at age thirteen.
Who would have known.
Of course, these plans have taken many a blow and punch to the face-- daring to crumble and desenigrate right before my eyes--- but somehow.. someway... These people who I've determined I'm going to be life long friends with, save my dreams, my plans... Our dreams, our plans. And therein lies the irony.
Along the way what I secretly hoped for in the ravishing wishes of a bubbly thirteen year old--- was passed along.
And although I am no longer thirteen--... a whopping Fifteen now [ although somedays I'm doubting the age change. ] I still feel those dreams. I still carry those emotions.
If I don't who will?
Sometimes I'm afraid my happy ending won't come.
But that's the whole point to life.
You're unsure what will happen, but you have a perfect imagery of what should happen.
This theory used to scare me.
But then I realized--- my dreams, wishes, hopes, and plans... they're all too strong to not turn out the way I want it to be.
It would be selfish to think otherwise.
Courtney