I just got off the phone with Brant. We talked for quite awhile.. just about everything I guess. How much we meant to each other in terms of frienship, and what we lost along the way. It felt like I was back in the circle of things, the Fort Campbell Friendship System didn't suck as bad anymore... I was.. happy. I laughed so hard.. we brought back such happy memories. Talked about future plans.. things that we wanted to do. God, it felt so great. I loved every moment of it. Every word that we talked about. The awkwardnesss of it all peeled away and finally we could just talk. Two to tango and two to save the other from drowning. We've finally put a lid on things.. ready to start a new. I don't mind this one bit. I'm always easily to forgive.. I'm easily to start over with someone who shows me what they did wrong, pointed the strong things out, showed me my worth, laid all out for me to see. Brant did just that. We talked about facades between friendships, his relationship with Stacy, generalization in life..I called him at 8:45.. and the conversation ended at 10:07. Serious talkage right there. The Brant that knew everything about me.. the Brant that caught me right before I fell.. asking if I needed a stepping stool in life.. the one who believed in my tale of Juliet and her assassin.. as few know of.. and fewer believe. He told me, in such Firm words. " I never gave up on you Courtney. I never gave up on you. I watched for a distance, making sure you were okay... but I never gave up." To hear those things.. I wanted to cry. To know that someone was watching out for me all along.. when I was dead sure I was alone with Keisuke, Nakaruru, and Yuuriko. And I didn't mind it, but I was lacking serious physical friendship. I feel back in action.. but weary of what further steps to take. What to do next? Wait it out... thats all I can do. It feels good. I feels really good. My life has finally reached a simple point of standing. I can rest.. I can slow down. But I also have to stop procrastinating.. I haven't memorize that poem. : covers face : Goddamn me. Tomorrow.. I promise.. tomorrow..
Courtney