Today. Wow. I was fighting alot of inner feelings. Stress is easy to catch up with me. Its just, I never have enough time anymore and well it sort of just put me under the weather slightly for the morning portion of my day. Then of course, Ian picked up on this and told me to write for him. I did and I came up with something so different. I amazed myself actually, if you must know. I know my poetry is good, I mean lets check all the reality that has come to play in this. Ive had almost 5 of my greatest works published. Not under single companies. But a few from poetry.com into books, one into the Military Child's Colotion's magazine, one was published into my yearbook last year, and that same one was read on national television. :nod: I know that SOME of my pieces must be somewhat wonderful to get me this far. But today's writing surprised me. So many feelings were bottled up into one and when it came out it was a rush. Adrenaline and emotion. I was flushed so much while class. I had to write things on a scrap piece of paper to keep up with my thoughts, words, feelings. Everything was just so beautiful. I saw the future in a distorted point of view. But the way that I, inside feel it might happen. My poem told a story, rather then focusing on one topic and writing about that. It told of feelings. Detailed Imagery. Everything. I love writing poetry. This is the feeling it gives me. This constant high for just that small amount of time. No artifical high could make up for it. I'm at the top of my world, my own little domain. I'm queen for just that small portion of time. God with the pen in hand. My words are like prayers for my readers. Thats how I feel. So after writing this poem out my stress was gone for the most part. :nod: Yeah, that was a really good pick me up. I just felt so peaceful and at some term with myself after. Its lasted most of the day. I was so relaxed that I just took a bath instead of a shower. I deserved it after all. We all know that I'm obsessed with being under the water, that last feeling before you've got to breath and break the surface for breath. :smiles: No, i'm not suicidal my friends. Just in love with that last second feeling of death. I love the ocean. I Love the water. I always have and always will. Ive been 'pretend drowning' as I call it, since I was little. Dont be alarmed. :rolls eyes: I know when to stop and Im not going to kill myself. Its just something that brings me to a higher peace. Like I said, I've tried artifical happiness once and it didnt work out to well. This is my high. Writing and water. :nod: Im going to write something about 'pretend drowning' in just a moment. I want to change my layout to fit my mood first though. So.. excuse the mistress of writing.
Courtney