Heads up. This layout is not hinting anything. I was recalling all the times that I happen to be the one that people call in the dead of the night begging me for reasons not to take their own life. I've gotten to be really good at it, in a sarcastic point of view. But Like ive said before, I would rather NOT be the only person within a million miles that could save a suicide bound person..but it usually happens that way...so I accept and deal. It just tears me down sometimes. These types of people..I wont give names, but these people at that stage of depression play games with your head without even thinking about it. Knowing about it. Its a tiring and exhausting process of dragging a person away from their razor blade and such. Unless they're into cutting, then you're fucked. You cant help that, because its an addiction. If its their first time then you have a pretty good chance of getting them not to. I think this could be my part time profession if I ever allowed it to be. But anyway. Erika, I believe that if you dyed your hair Blonde it would look fabulous. Go for it hun. Change is always good. Josh, I'm not a hoe, just a little gal that likes to have some fun. :cough cough: Well, fun with one person and one person only. But let me give you THIS scenario that happened last night. Ian and I, after him getting out of work at 11:30 stopped at a parking lot and were cuddling in his car. Now when I say cuddling, Im saying exactly what happened. There was no action going on, and thats an important part of this story. We were parked RIGHT outside the barracks, more so across the street then anything, and we cuddled for a few minutes talking. Then, in was laying with his head on my lap and I was curling my fingers around his hair. All of a sudden there was a knock at his window. I KNOW this sounds like a horror movie scene..but this is how it went. Ian opened the door and asked.. "Yes Sir?" And the first question out of the first guys mouth was.. "How old are you?" And I freeze, really NOT wanting to get raped. Ian says he's 17 and I say Im 15..( Lie... but I didnt want to be a potential rape victim. ) And a little more talking went on. We were freaking out. And then it ended up that they were reserves who needed a ride and were going to ask us to drive and come with them to the club if we were old enough. Hence the "how old are you?" thing. We drove them to one of the guys house and then that was it. It was freaky. Ian thought they were the police and he was going to go to jail and I thought that they were going to kill Ian and rape me. ( I always have a negative frame of mind. >D ) But in the end it was neither. It made me laugh and want to die all in one. Oh the things that happen when Ian and I are together.
Courtney