silentlylost's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mice in the stove! It's so crazy how you can hate everyone you've left behind and love them at the same time. I think I hate them because they've moved on without me. It's silly to think that they wouldn't have, no? But I suppose thats how my mind worked. A new family is living in my old house, ironically by the last name, Smith. It's depressing really, like I'm being trapped in my memory either way I look at it. I mean, you'd constantly be reminded of your old house if you keep getting mail forwarded from that address that isn't yours. But alright it's something I'm just going to have to take in stride I guess. My grandparents are still here and a part of me wishes they can stay here forever. The whole time they've been here, my family life has been at it's best. Of course, I'm convinced it's solely due to the fact that my grandparents are staying here, but why spoil the surprise? Inside, I've been feeling kind of weird lately. Just like I want to hide away from everyone and cry. Not due to anything that has happened recently, or anything I'm stressing over. Not hormones either. Just the sheer need to cry again. You all know me... I dont cry normally. I do it about once a month to fill my humanly quota and that's that. But. Maybe I'm becoming moreso of a normal person again? No idea. My dreams have been getting weird lately. Thank god I couldn't remember last nights. That really would have sucked. They've all been ending the same, but with different sceanrios. Son of a bitch. I just heard the mice in the stove. We caught two now. Hah. Now housing will have to move us. Goddamnit, I don't want to move again. Fucking mice. Why must you be so adorable yet so disgusting? Courtney 5:42 a.m. - Thursday, Sept. 09, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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