silentlylost's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Capricorn & Cancer I feel weird at the moment, almost indescribable. I have great news though, so I think it's best that I mark it down lest I forget I have a reason to be happy. I met a girl named Jaclyn through this long connection of people. [ Through Worth's friend Chuck's friend Katherine. Katherine gave my aohell address to Jaclyn. Ironically, she saw Cande at Otakon this past July/August. Heh. Small world. ] She's super cool and we have way too many things in common to count. She's an internet whore, loves Jrock, likes Anne Rice, into Anime, into Manga.. rwar. There have been so many that I've forgotten. But nevertheless we're supposed to hang out this weekend. I have a feeling that yes, this is going to be one hell of a weekend. But I also feel vunerable. I'm left with the aftermath of Dayna. I gave Dayna a lot of myself and now I find that I'm having a hard time trying to give all to Jaclyn. Does that make sense? That's usually what I do with all my friends and it's leaving me moreso exposed and vunerable in the end than not. Does that justify my reason to be scared? But of course, I'm not going to pass this oppertunity up-- but I don't think I'll jump on it as quickly? ._. That makes me sound so retarded. Jaclyn is awesome but I don't want to ruin anything like I have with past friendships. Nothing she's done or probably will ever do. It's just me being weird because of my recently broken tiff/relationship with Dayna. Hmph. I feel just... Weird today. Like nothing is going to go right. I woke up with it. I didn't have any dreams though. But I don't know. It's almost as like someone's going to get hurt and I don't know who or when yet. It's scary. I don't know how to express it. I just, woke up feeling icky emotionally. Although yesterday afternoon was great.. so this doesn't really make a groovy jigsaw puzzle that fits right. I talked to Erika yesterday for like, ever. It's been awhile but I figured that I really needed to do my end of keeping touch with her as much as I bitch that no one else does. She has single handidly been the only person from Fort Campbell to make an effort to keep in touch with me. She wrote me back when I wrote her and she called me back when I called her. Yeah. Take that. Atleast she wasn't trying to put up some defense in order to shove me the fuck out of the picture. She didn't make me feel like my whole time in Fort Campbell was so fake looking over it. But hey. What can I say? I have a feeling I'm going to be very silent today. I might have to take a nap when I get home in order to get rid of this idiotic emotional weirdo thing. God, I'm such a classic Cancer. Courtney P.S. : Worth is a Capricorn. Hah. Opposites attract. 5:43 a.m. - Friday, Sept. 10, 2004 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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