For the first time ever, I found that in this diary there has been a lack of entries. Not because I don't have the time to write in here, or I have nothing to write at all. Neither is the case... I have plenty of both. But at the moment there are things that I want to write down that are unrecordable. Atleast until the proper time arises. So I throughly apologize, diary, readers, and to most of all myself... for not updating and writing as much as I passionately want to. Because I know I hate looking back on entries and not understanding what went on. Not that I'm afraid I'll forget everything. But I'm a gal of my record. Writing things down makes it easier to remember as if set in stone. Words are something that are hard to erase, so long as they are written. Memories fade from time, pain, or influence.. but when you read back over something, suddenly you remember what you were feeling when you wrote it. What was going on. How things were at that exact moment in time. And how much you've grown since then.
If things go according to plan for my parentals, I am to be out of Fort Campbell Housing by June 1st. They're talking about going either this week or next week to Georgia so my Dad can check in, put us on the housing list for post, and try to rent a house in the mean time. This leaves me here to try and make the best of my time, never mind studying for exams. I'm vowing now though not to procrastinate like I did for Winter Exams. Heh, that was so much fun. Not. But I passed every single one of those exams I took, by the way. So it wasn't as if I didn't study. Whoever said cramming last minute doesn't work?
Lately more and more I've been recalling the good times that I've had here. The things we've done and the things that I had forgotten all about. I've made so much of this year, more then I ever imagined it to be. Full of surprises, dissapointments, new experinces... this was more then I ever could have planned it to be.
Hopefully moving is not the end of these things, but only another beginning to more. Summer is just around the corner, and although it will be unlike last summer... [ spending all night on the computer talking to Cande and sleeping most of the day... ] Because she will be gone.. and I will be mucho busy with the whole moving deal.. It still doesn't mean I can't make the best of what I have. Cande doesn't leave until the 23, for South Carolina, so until then I have a lot of time. It will just be the end of this month and the first part of June where everything will be so hectic.
Last night Larry and I talked on the phone from 10:00 to Midnight. Awkward. Hah. It was just mostly about things that we've been thinking about for a long while. Our feelings on certain issues, how we deal with things, life, etc. Things of those nature.
Strange as it is, I must vent here.. because I cannot do it anywhere else. There was something up with Kei last night and I could just vaugely tell. I was sort of out of it myself, so I thought that perhaps most of it was just me. But when I asked him about it he skirted the subject and finally ended it with, ' Leave it be. It's not of your concern. ' And of course, I'm grinding my teeth.. the last person who said that to me happened to be Tseng, and I didn't particularly enjoy that. I mean, I've never known Kei to shy away and not tell me whats up, even if it doesn't concern me. A lot of the time it never does, but it doesn't mean I don't enjoy hearing about it. But perhaps it really is something that I don't need to know about, and if he really does feel that way then I'm more then happy to let him. I didn't lose any sleep over it, but of course that didn't prevent me from thinking about it before I fell asleep. I haven't talked about Kei to anyone since the papers were destroyed. I don't miss those papers. Not a damn one. Because in the midst of needing them, life happened.
Lately I've been in and out of my online life, trying to make up for lost time in my real one. Just trying to spend the remainder of time I have here with people I'll never see again. Thats the thing I love with the internet. If you make friends who are far away to begin with, nothing really changes when you move.. with exception for the address that which they send you things, or the number that they call you on.
The time is almost coming up again. June 21st, I will have known Kei and Cande for two years. [ even though I cannot techinically remember if it was the 20th or the 21st. On some calenders I marked it the 20th and others the 21st. Hah it should be a two day celebration!! ] I will have been rping for two years. [ even though of course, I barely do it anymore. I still consider that my *saving point* of my life. ]
But yes, heres a semi-vague long entry to make up for the lack of them lately. Woo hoo
Courtney