I'm becoming tense again. Things are so uptight today. This morning the first thing I woke up to after I came downstairs was my father yelling. Ugh. It only progressed further to irritate everyone. So my house is a contious round of annoyace. Everyone is raising their voices at everyone. Damnit. I can't stand it honestly.
I've been feeling kind of ill lately. I don't really know how to explain it. Today has been my lounge day, I suppose. I woke up around elevenish and started doing things. Tooka shower, ate breakfast, and began watching, " The Feast of All Saints." I've seen it before but I wanted to watch it again. It was one of my goals this week. I accomplished it. Woo hoo. After that there was homework in bed and more laundry.
Yuuriko called me twice today. She got that job at " Things Remembered. " She's making $6.50 an hour under fulltime. This makes me kind of happy, knowing that she'll have something to keep her occupied and hopefully her mind wont wander upon Kei so much. But-- then again apart of me is kinda sad, knowing that this means I will be seeing her somewhat less. And that I can't call her 24/7. Bah. I'll survive.
Dayna and I have to seem to have hit a rough patch. We're both trying to decide on what to do as far as our sls. We have four characters total-- but with the recent introduction of new hours due to life intervening -- everything is just being crunched down. Personally, I know that I would go into a slight depression if our characters were cut down. I'd be pissed at myself most of all for not being able to multitask. Apart of me curses the day for not having enough hours for everything I want/have to do. School, homework, Relationships, Online life, Family life. It's all meshed together and one is fighting over the other. I'm being torn in fifty bajillion directions. There's truly only one way I'd rather go.. ._. but I know that it's impossible considering I couldn't cling myself to the computer twenty four seven. I'm being pulled away from my dream world into the real one. It's pissing me off, royally.
But hell, what can I say? I'm trying to balance my time efficently and I'm doing the best that I can without over working myself. I work better stressed out and all, but I know if I push myself much harder this is going to result in a panic attack. I don't know how well that'd go over right now. I haven't been to therapy in months-- so --yeah.
Oh and it's been three months since I've last cut.. or around that. And yeah. So I kept my promise. I haven't cut therefore I don't think I'm going back to therapy. Perhaps. Maybe. No. I don't know. Things are going considerably well-- but they could always change in the light of something new.
I had Japanese Curry last night, btw.
Courtney