I guess I really don't know how to explain how I'm feeling right now. Sorta hyper and connected without anyone to share this feeling with. In this house down here in Alabama I feel independant and on my own. Everyone is doing their own thing and no one is really fighting with each other. I mean hell, all I've done today? My mother came and woke me up, telling me there were pancakes ready.. I got up and ate and then sat around at the table for awhile. Soon after I wandered the house for awhile, finally jumping into the shower. Shortly after I jumped on the trampolene! THE TRAMPOLENE! I haven't done something like that in forever. It was so nice, you know? Just jumping my tensions away. I swear that when I grow up, my house will be equiped with a trampolene, no matter what anyone says. : laugh : Greatest way to ease my stress, because usually I deny I have any. Soon after I jumped on the computer and moved between cooking Ramen noodles [ my favorite! XD ] and checking messages. Yesterday was just as easy! My cousin and I sat on her bed and she quizzed me over these quizzes that supposably help you learn more about yourself.. then shortly after my Aunt asked if we wanted to go to the YMCA to swim. I was up for it. We had so much fun. Swam.. played pool... joked around. I hadn't been out this much in a year or two. After that we came home.. I vegged out on the internet and later watched a movie. I mean.. there's no one fighting with me twenty four seven here. I'm free to do whatever I wish to do. All I have to do is ask. Things are not like this at my house.. everything is just a mess.. unorganized, tense, uptight. Coming here was a surprise vacation I never thought It would be.
Lately more and more I've been thinking about Yuu, Naka, and Kei. Every few moments I wonder what they're up to.. : Laugh : I'm crazy.. but one day.. I keep telling myself.. one day. No one believes me anymore but them... and if I don't believe in them, who will? Exactly. So as far fetched as things sound, there comes a time in a persons' life when you must believe in something even if you aren't 100% sure. Faith. Belief. That's what it's all about now. And I must start cracking down on myself.. I skipped out on friday, [ School that is, and YES my parents knew about it. ] because I just couldn't do it. I didn't want to sit in a place where no one held the same interests as me.. who held the same things close. But then I realize something. Kei goes through the same thing everday at work. Yuu goes through the same thing everyday at school. It's a small world after all, isn't it? Better end this, I think I might go take a nap.
Courtney