Actually right now, I'm feeling happier then I've been in ages. Well, ages would be the wrong term, but it sure as hell feels like it. Its so funny to think how one little drive can change everything. Things between Ian and myself are slowly getting better. I cant just outright say they're perfect because that would be the biggest lie i've ever told to anyone. So, to be on the safe side.... we're 'okay'. A very generic term but one thats safe and efficent to use. I told him no about homecoming simply because I wouldnt stand to see myself dress up wonderfully for something that I was so afraid of. I know right now if I were to tell him that I loved him, then I would just forget all the things Ive promised to myself. I know that if I went to homecoming with him, I would cave in so easily. I dont know...But yeah. Trying not to get to hectic in anyway. I'm worried about Brant at the moment. He's been doing alot of excess thinking lately and its not really good for him. I want to do something for him so bad. He's done alot for me and withstood alot of shit for me....and for that he'll always be a big brother that's protecting me. Lol. You should just hear the advice that he loves dishing out. Oh how hilarious inside jokes can be. I want to go to Thrice Landing tomorrow, but I'm not all that sure how that's going to go down.. .. ..I want more then anything to be there, but it seems at a dead point in getting there at all. But we shall see what tomorrow brings and hopefully, possibly, good things. I need to stop eating these lifesaves before I get sick....fuck. Thanks for the lifesavers though Erika!!! ^.^ Much appreciated. I think that Im going to try and crash soon. I'm exhausted and I havent sleep for more then an hour since Sept. 29. I'm sorta not paying attention to anything but whats infront of me. Arrrgh Rightio. -insert sigh of life- Yeah. oh shit. Moms up. Leaving now.
Courtney