Wow. How long has it been since Ive written in this?? Seems forever almost...ages atleast. Im sitting here. On my Memer� and Peper�'s computer. Its fast..dsl, aol, aim, and internet explorer...much better than mine at home. Im awfully sick...it hurts to talk. I got all my presents last night. I got my violin that I wanted. Usually id be jumping for joy, but because Im in a depressive mood...im not. Its snowing outside. I walked in it on my own earlier. Enjoyed the cold and white fluffyness of the snow. Im pretty happy with all I got. This has to be the best Christmas so far. Vanna is suppose to call me when she gets home from Erika's..I hope she does..because right now..I feel like dirt. Its partically due to the fact that Emliy keeps sending her hate towards me. And past refrences lead you to know that you cant be friends with a person you once loved. Thats what Im doing now..and failing badly. Im sitting here..listening to "Pretty Baby" by Vanessa Carlton. I luff this little song. Its one of those songs that you just love to death. I guess thats why Ive put it on repeat for the past two days. I feel like crying..but I want to save my tears for when Im alone. No reason to alarm anyone with my useless garabage of sorrow. I sit here, and stare at Emily's ring..and wonder why i still wear this. I know why....Its because I cant let go. Vanna is trying her hardest to make me happier. Lol..its working alittle bit. I thank god for her..she always knows when I need a good cheering up. And I luff her for it. I just wish that I could cry on someone right now. Ive never crie don anyone before..and I wisht aht I could start now. But..gah..oh...well. I just want to lose myself in someones thoughts. But instead im left here. Ill go now. This entry is way to full. I need to sulk..
adieu,
Courtney