I'm fairly.. content. It's strange.
These first few summer days have been spent packing on and off.. then leaving the house when I can. Or when my parents let me. Although they've been so-so supportive about letting me leave when I want to. This whole thing is putting mucho wear and tear on my ability to handle things. But lately, I've been able hold everything together at once. I'm amazed at myself, strngely. I half expected myself to be broken and desperate at this point. But no, I'm doing quite.. well?
So far Courtney is dealing with :
- I'm dealing with moving and packing everything. Inspections and the stress of not having housing when we move to Georgia.
- Leaving this place, something so special to me. I have been here for almost seven years in July. I've spent half my life here. This place, Fort Campbell, is my home.
- Even more importantly then leaving the location behind, I'm leaving those who mean most in it. Potential boyfriend, life long friends, and an atmosphere to kill for.
- I have to adjust to a new school's standards and the area's "do's and don't's."
- I'm coping with the fact that not everyone will be happy with me. There will be people that I piss off.. and I can't change that.
- Keisuke is gone on recall at the moment, in Tokyo. I heard from his sister this morning. Things are so so, but she hasn't heard from him yet. She misses him.. and Yuuriko and myself do as well. This is difficult, because we fall under the chance that he won't remember us. Naka said she'd help him remember us.. but that is currently undetermined on whether it will work out or not.
- Someone hacked into Yuuriko's computer and left a virus. This wiped out everything she had saved. By everything I mean important documents that were not for other people's eyes. She currently has no computer. Phone calls are our only updates, aside from text messaging. In a time where we need each other most.. Kei gone and Yuu graduating.. communication doesn't need to be lacking like it is now. Our friendship will suffer from it, if something doesn't happen soon.
This is more stress then I think I've ever handled at once. But! I'm not using therapy to help me, I'm not cutting, and I'm doing just fine. I mean damn. Just Kei leaving the last time caused me a mental break down. But nope, not this time. We have him gone plus everything else combined. Talk about some shit. But I'm not going to complain. I'm doing good, and lets hope things stay that way.
Courtney