Wanna love ya
Wanna bug ya
Wanna squeeze ya
Stupid girl
Wanna touch ya,
Wanna take ya,
Wanna shut ya,
Stupid girl.
I can't take this,
Born to break this.
She's going away,
(She's going away)
What's wrong with my life today?
She's going away,
(She's going away)
What's wrong with my life today?
Stupid girl, Stupid girl
I'm a loner,
I'm a loser,
I'm a winner,
In my mind.
I'm a bad one,
I'm a good one,
I'm a sick one,
With a smile.
I can't take this,
Born to break this.
She's going away,
(She's going away)
What's wrong with my life today?
She's going away,
(She's going away)
What's wrong with my life today?
Stupid girl, Stupid girl
Stupid girl, Stupid girl
(whoa)
She's going away,
(She's going away)
What's wrong with my life today?
She's going away,
(She's going away)
What's wrong with my life today?
Stupid girl, Stupid girl
Sometimes one can't help but wonder. If I were to go back in time, to change what was wrong...or what went wrong in this case, would it change things? Really...would it do absolutely ANY good? There is a "him" in her life. Someone else. I have no recollection of any of this. I even deny there is another at sometimes when others ask. My real talent is to divert reality until the last possible moment, and then life can and will tumble before me. People have assured me I've done nothing wrong. But how can this be? She's gone. I'm alone. In retaliating defense, I pick up another chapter in my life. Justin. Its sickening really, I am using him for comfort...something that Emily could never do. In my mind, laying against him...I say little things like..."Emily could never do this...or never do that.." But I'm going crazy in the own confindes of my mind. Sadistic, and mess relationships seemed to be my forte. Isn't just wonderful? I hate it. -insert long string of profanity here- I am a very passionate person, and I beleive that this has brought my downfall of love, and everything that I thought in my mind was good. I am to easily to forgive, to easily to love, to easy to give love. I am almost positive, if she were to IM me now, call me, or write me, begging me to take her back , that it was all a mistake...I would do it. Something is wrong with me. WHY CANT I say no? Why can't I just be normal and say no, knowing what the consquences would be. I know if I take her back again the violent cycle would just continue. Break it off, love for awhile, end it tradgically. OVER AND OVER AND OVER OVER. Oh god. My pretend laughter is to overwhelming for me. May I just rot in my own something...something being the ability to take her back knowing what shes done wrong. Maybe its that I need the pain, maybe I crave it as much as she gives it. I loved her...I LOVE HER...and I can't just stop because one day she decides that she is going to end it! What kind of love is that? Wasted highschool romance. No I wont stand for such malice and pain knotted into one. I will fight, may it be the death of me. Because damnit, death is the only true feeling that I am actually famliar with.
Courtney