It's raining right now. The sky is overcast and a storm is brewing in. The small tappings against the window and the silence that comes from the outside is extrodinary. The light that seeps in through the windows is just perfect. Not too bright, something that's been quite a regular morning shock to my eyes. But not too dark, signifying that I have woken just too early. This same storm passed over someone important last night and tonight it will pass over another body of importance. Rain storms do that. Bring the best out in everyone. I said it myself yesterday. " I wish it would rain. " So here I am, alone this morning, with my much favored rain. I can't feel the premorning chill, but a song of sadness sweeps over me.
Not one of depression, just loneliness. One that I'm going to be battling for quite a long time. I can make it, or alteast I think I can.
I'm tempted to just crawl back upstairs and open my window, lay in my bed and listen to the rain. Clutch my covers tight and sigh. School starts back up tomorrow you know. In some ways I'm completely and absolutely ready. In other ways, I'm not. Although looking back on this Spring Break, it's been a memorable one. Cande visiting was more then I could ever ask for. The memories that we created while she was here will be things that I will never forget. The laughs, the smiles. The waking her up in the morning. The picture dillema. Going to malls and shopping for Naka and Kei. Just holding hands and falling asleep against her shoulder in the car. Picking her up at the airport and pausing for a moment, freaking out inwardly and outwardly looking like an idiot. But then finally.. to run up to her and just hug her. I knew it was fate then. And then her being oh-so-worried about her flight home.. Me not wanting to let her go. I couldn't recall a happier time then with Cande, and I couldn't bring myself to see it go. But it did.. and I didn't cry at our departure. But I was sad. It was only temporary before I started to remember all of the good times we had together. Everyone who met her loved her. Brant, Stacy, Larry, My parents. She was everything I told them she would be. These past two years have been the most difficult, having to have my best friend live so far away from me. But never ever having her this close to me until now. To see.. to touch.. to feel.. to joke with. God and I was so gulliable when she was here. I remember her sneaking up behind me at Borders and when I tried to it to her, she knew I was coming! Hah. And then when we watched "What Lies Beneath." How I jumped and had to look away. But it was fun to have someone to do that with you know? Someone who knew everything about me and accepted me and it was equaly likewise for them. Never in a million years did I imagine I could find a friendship like that. Most importantly in my life. My best friend, my sister, Cande. Je t'aime, Cande. ^^;;
On a different note, I wanted to say that I love Mugsy's. The first time I went there was with Cande.. and it was the first time ever! It was a pleasureable experince. I can see myself going there a lot for future times.
Courtney