This evening was really nice. I have to say, better then most of my evenings of late have been. Brant called me a little before six and asked me what I was up to. Normally, I would point out that these are my Keisuke and Yuuriko talking hours, but finally I made a decision. I had been waiting already 6 days to catch Keisuke at an ample time to talk to him... and failed all 6 of them. I couldn't wait around anymore, I was neglecting those who I still have here. So reluctantly I gave in, asking if there was anyway we'd be able to make it out to Thrice Landing.
I haven't been to Thrice Landing in forever really, not since the group/family died and everyone break off into their own sections. I guess what provoked me to actually go back there, deals with the fact of me telling Cande the story about our first night there. It brought back so many memories. Remembering how good I had things back there. How we all were embranced by each other as a whole. Our tempers were a little bit longer and our paitence oh-so-much more virtuous. We each loved each other, providing comfort around. Sitting on the edge of that dock, Brant and I talked about it all. Even the cold couldn't penetrate through the warmest of the thoughts I came upon. Recalling how our friendship came to be. A series of hardships before finally realizing that not everything is what it seems. But as the dark sky hung above us and my vision drifted solely to the river, I felt relaxed. Something and somewhere I haven't been in touch with for a long time. Talking to him enabled me to let go of a lot of things I truly didn't know how to. Just rambling, going on and on about everything. Rememberance.. the key to everything on my mind. Afterwhile it did get too cold to just be sitting by the water, so we started to circle Thrice Landing. I enjoyed every second of it, reveling in the fact that just in this moment, I was happy. I was able to just relax, take a breather, look around and realize that I'm in a safe place. Keisuke isn't going anywhere and he's got Yuuriko wrapped in his arms. Yuuriko is safe now, I can let her be on her own. Brant isn't going anywhere, I don't have to feel the wounded hole of loss. My school life is doing satisfactory, I don't have to panic at last minute to get everything together. My home life is getting better slowly, causing things to go a little smoother around here. I could just, take that moment we had and share it. Not let my mind worry about anything with exception of putting the next foot forward.
Eventually though we had to leave, due to my parents going out tonight because payday was yesterday. That is where they are now, and that is why I am still on the computer.
When I got home, I presented myself with another problem. Keisuke HAD come while I was out, pissing me off just slightly. Go figure, the moment I leave, he comes. 6 days can do a lot to someone. But Cande kindly reminded me to hold myself to as high as standard as they did. We are all a family and no one is higher then anyone else. [ I have this problem with asking myself why should I miss Keisuke or Cande when they leave or I don't get to talk to them. ] She told me that I have a right just as much as anyone else to miss, to want, to need, to be happy about...So I'm slowly trying to remember that. I think it's because I hold myself as a messenger status and that's not at all what I am to them.
But things cooled down in my mind after Keisuke did show up and we talked for awhile. This relieved the thoughts of all my long long long excruciating 6 days without conversation. Although conversation tonight was short, it was worth just as much as anything else. I needed it, and was glad to recieve it.
Cande got me with a good April Fools Joke today. Told me her mother got into a car accident.. and I totally fell for it. >_< I am such a dork, but it got me good. Heh. I commend her for that one.
Well, I should go. I feel really complete. I've done everything I wanted to do today and more. Accomplishing things always puts me in a good mood.
P.S. I'm really starting to think Becca is the greatest chic in the world. >D She's so funny, got a wonderful sense of style, this auroa of uniqueness around her, loves John Mayer, LOVES ASIAN GUYS [ a million bonus points in my book any day. ^___^ ], and just is so sweet. I would love to get to know her better, but I don't want to come off as some Freshman freak. God knows we have enough at this school. But enough worrying.
Courtney