Sitting in a very top secret location, which I care not to reveal at whim. I feel low...low because of the self inflicting wounds of another. I dont know if it was something that I did to her indirectly, or if its anything I can help her with. But shes hit rock bottom, and Im about to fall not far behind. I worry about her well being, and what were to happen if the time did arise that she could end it all. I am sitting at the brink of a decision. I am sitting at the point where I need to decide whether Im going to help another, or sit here and do absolutely nothing.
I have made my decision xxsirenxx if you are reading this...I want to get closer to you, I dont want you to feel as if you are alone in your desolate darkness as I usually feel when Im by myself, within the own reclusive habits of my home. Ive been where you are, and continue to be now. Ive come to take your hand and pull you out slowly of your darkness, and bring a candle to brighten this abyss. If only you'll let me get closer...if only I could see where things needed to be mended...then could I begin the process of change. Whether you realize it or not. You do mean alot to me. Indirectly, or directly...you have an effect on me. You are an awesome person, and have a very bright character, only to be smothered out by others that have needs and wants that you seem to think they are greater than yours. END this suffering. Or let me end it. I have come...I am here. It is your decision as to where I can go from here. Whether you will turn my friendship away, or grasp a hand onto it tightly. My own uneasiness teter totters on the brink of all my fears. Choose wisely, both decisions will reflect on me, and you. I wish you the best in life, and I have you rest in my trust only if you will. I dont know if this will reach you in time, and if I does..please take this to your heart. I wish to know you, to become a very dear friend. I have seen you spend endless days and nights in solitude, being afraid of your very own regrets. You've let others trample all over your dreams. Ive been in your path, and walked it before. I know what your going through, even at this point when it seems impossiable that I have. Believe in me when I say the things I write now. Believe that I am truely here for you, not for the benefit of myself. Believe in me when I say that I want you as a friend and a person to cling to when my own light goes dim. Believe in me when I ask you to take my hand and grasp it tightly as your own world seems to slowly fade. Dont leave me in wandering. Heed this warning and tred with care. Im waiting for your response in your own journal.
Courtney