I'm starting to really not like this layout. Fuck.. I've been going through one after the other. What is the cause of my disatisfaction? I don't know. I want to do something productive right now, but no one's awake in this sleepy town of Fort Campbell.. maybe Brant but he's probably conversating with Stacy or resting. I'll let him have his peace. It's quite cold outside, the winds have changed for the better, turning every smile into a cold lingering memory. I've always loved the christmas season as a child and even now it only brings stirring memories to my mind everytime someone says the words. It just feels like this Christmas might be less then usual. Mom isn't going to put the Christmas tree up until dad get's home from Iraq, which can be from the 15th to the 28th.. It's a sad sort of thing. I know that looking upon that Tree every morning would make me smile with that early morning warmth. But I've already tried to argue, less I come a nuiscence more then I already am, I swallowed my compliants and just let it override. So the only hint of Christmas around the Smith household will be the Flag hanging outside my front walkway. Boring. I don't want a dull Christmas. I've had enough depressing holiday's and lack there of days to begin with! Christmas is supposed to be viewed as a liberation. Exams are coming soon and I'm just groaning. Most of all my grades have been raised to B's. I believe even my French one is in the high averages. So freedom when the 19th comes is almost certain. I want out of this cage. It's awful, because then you start doubting if anyone remembers you anymore, if they bother noting that they know you're alive. When you have free will you can make yourself remembered, like I did twenty four seven when I wasn't grounded. But when I was placed within boundries I had to let everything happen itself. No one calls me... no one. I call them first.. Outside of school most of my relationships are distant now. Of course we have our online chatting time, because we know how much of a fiend of the Computer dear Courtney is. . . But I if I had no desire to use the computer? My consort would be none of the above, simply fictional characters. Speaking of such, I finished 'Blood Canticle' after many many MANY days of procrasination. I really didn't want for the whole series to end. The book had me by a cliff hanger, yes, but not the type that I wanted. It was more of a Witch's hanger then vampire. And that saddened me deeply. Inward I figured that if she was ending the Vampire Chronicles she would have left out with VAMPIRES in the big bang. But.. heh... none of the above. All were either Mayfair witches or vampires with Mayfair blood... With exception of the only thre orginial characters that I view close to my heart, Lestat and of all vampires, Maharet and Khayman. Not once did my beloved Louis, Jesse, Marius, Gabrielle, David, Armand, Sybelle, Benji, Pandora, Daniel, Santino, Mael, or Thorne appear. It was a let down, a huge one. Dont get me wrong, the book itself was beautifully written and had I been into the Mayfair witches I would have been perfectly invovled.. Obsessed and happy with the ending. But folks, I'm a die hard Vampire Chronicles fanatic.. and that was just not the way to end the story. I've always believed that Louis is Lestat's true lover. End of Story. Well Miss Rice decided to prove me wrong in the worst way possible, Taking two of her most famous characters, the James Bond of Vampires Lestat from the Vampire Chronicles, and the Mad Scientist Rowan Mayfair from the Witches Chronicles.. and the worst? She made them fall in love, something I could NEVER in all my years of reading the Chronicles picture them both doing. ( I've been reading the Chronicles for 4 years now.. ) I mean, Jesus Fucking Christ! Lestat said himself that he did not like to toy much with Witches, for they were an nuiscence. Yeah right buddy, look who's going back on his word now. It was good, but it wasn't. Damn it, thats the last one you know... and fuck! I have to deal with the thought of Rowan and Lestat everytime I think of one or the other. Thats a bitch to deal with. What happened to Louis after he was reborn from his ashes?! Was he more powerful?? What? And to David? Lestat's newly made fledgling!!!! WHAT HAPPENED! Its a mystery.. and now I will never know unless I ask her myself.. which will be four years from now.. I promise you I'll invite her over for tea and she's going to be in for the discussion of her life, less I give her a heart attack from my mad ravings. But yes, so now you have it, my opinion on Blood Canticle. : nods : Speaking of obsessions.. I'm going to see ' The Last Samurai ' Today. I'm mucho excited, see.. you do the math. Asian guys + Japan + Tom Cruise ( hottest man of his time and still kicking the charts now. ) = UTMOST SUPREME HEAVEN for our dear little Courtney. Ah and word of the mouth about my therapist visits?? Tuesday, 8:00 a.m. Yes, I'm nervous, so please don't ask me if I am as a conversation topic starter. ^.^ Alright, I should go eat something and stare at this over cast day, WITHOUT SNOW.
* sniffles *
I'm a failure in the meterologist department.
Courtney