As I watch the lights dim
I can't help but curse him
For his existance
My betrayal of light
Amidst the cool dark night
I'd take it all back
If only I could
If I could go back to where I once stood
Her arms open and wide
I could take back all I lied
I could open my soul, Like I did once before
Before, when I begged for so much more
Before I lost my life
My heart
To the glint of one steel knife
Regret is something that I finally own,
These thoughts of mine I just cannot condone.
What if, what if...if I changed what I had done,
Would my horizon still be black before the setting sun?
I'm tired of crying and wishing it all away,
I'm trying to stand here bravely and say.
Betrayl is something even my forgiveness doesnt dare touch,
because if it did the thoughts would be to much.
I'd go insane perhaps more than I am now,
I want to pray to the God I lost but I dont know how.
I'm so lost but be damn sure that they dont know,
they sigh and groan and on I go...
They dont want to hear of what I havent done wrong,
life is coming right out of a song.
The clock is ticking before me tonight,
I'm sick of the lies and I dont want your empty promises not to fight.
Saying what if
My love, my torment
Doesn't change the flow
Of the river's tide
When one stands alone
To weep and cry
The weak rejoice
When you take back your choice
For anything is possible
When you think it can
The ticking of the clock
As pain flies by
The betrayal of a lover
In the night to discover
They're just roadways
On your way to life
The roadways to my life are nothing but dead ends,
I refuse to ignore this dramatic dialogue and pretend.
Anger in the softest form, I was like a puppet on strings waiting for you to perform.
Oh lover Oh enemy in which do you stand,
the words are slipping from me like a grain of sand.
Your the one that I didnt hold tight,
Your the one that I cant forget at night.
I didnt satisfy what you needed,
Oh my lord hatred has suceeded.
Im confused in whats wrong and whats vindictive,
Dont be so sure that this isn't to be predictive.
Bite my toungue and hold my breath,
Im barely clinging to what I have left.
[ Ever play a game of poetry back and forth between two people? The non-italics are me. ]
Courtney