Deeper and deeper I'll send my thoughts. If more hate me now then ever, it's okay. I could care less. Emotion for those who mean little to me is something I won't spare.
I'm not ashamed of what I've done and who I've become along the way. [ Yes, that one's for Ian and his, "Courtney, you're a bitch. " comment. ] So be it. This is all through your opinion you must remember. What about my opinion? My point of view. Did anyone care and stop to ask about mine? No. Thats why you're hurting right now. Because either I'm something you want and can't have.. or I have something you want and can't have. And its the price you pay, for living life. But you'll survive, I promise. People dont die of heartbreak.. they die of more serious complications... trust me. Unless that is you're Edgar Allen Poe.. but in this case neither of you are. But I whole heartedly assure you, I am not the first nor the last bitch you will ever meet. For Stacy, I hope I'm your wake up to the real world before you step out into it. And for Ian, well I hope that I'm your ideal of something you had, cherished, abused, and lost. And yes, it's the cold hearted bitch in me. Yes, I am saying these things. Lets all gasp because I'm not bullshitting around and hiding how I feel. Quite frankly I've decided to be vocal.. do something, say something. You'll get a surprising response. Don't doubt that much.
Although I wanted to thank you Ian, you're whole little bitch comment made funny for the rest of the night were I was "royally" refered to as "THE bitch." Quite a few laughs erupted from that one. So if anything, you lightened moods rather then dampen them like you wanted. Great going.
It's 7:41 and I'm the only one awake in the house. I could be cruel right now and write down everything that's gone on.. but because I like a good mystery and no one deserves a story.. I won't.
Courtney