Okay. So I'm not perfect. Sure, we all know that I'm not the best person in the world, and that I'm a cold harded bitch...right? Hah. Not.
Incase someone WAS wondering...yes...I do have terrible feelings over what I've done. But with what I did, I had the mind of her here. I speak of her now, exactly a week after. What she did...along with him...was unforgiveable. There are 7 unforgivable sins of life...and I believe she could have broken all 7 in one day. How loverly. But hey! after all, I'm the one who bounces back, who just picks life up!!. Another wrong. What do these people think I am??! A empty soul who doesn't think...doesn't speak....doesn't act? I'm sick of this. I've cried to much about it, and most of all...i've hurt so many people along the way. Perhaps its best to close my ways with her now.
If your listening...I want to say that I hope that you learn to love again. Sorry for what I gave, and sorry for what I couldn't give. Love is something that neither of us have even touched yet. I loved you, but perhaps, did you stop and think even if that was love? I mean really....love is when you can be with that person 24/7 and you can only think about THEM. we fit none of those critera's requirements. But whatever this may be leading to, I hope that you find someone who loves you for who you are. Not for who you try to be. That simple. And perhaps now I can leave for my summer vacation, and not be reminded of her. One day, maybe I can hear all the songs she used to sing, and not cry....perhaps even one day, I can think of Draco...and not link him to her. But for now, Im stuck in the recovery room, waking to a horrible fate/reality. I've got Justin. I need to make the best and mend what was lost. Perhaps your wondering how I can move on so easily? All my relationships are messy this way, and one learns to just move on after years at a time. Sure, I'll always be reminded, and certainly I wont be able to forget....I don't think that my mind will allow me to. But on the bright side of things. Hrmm.
Highschool here I come. I read my poem on Tuesday for the graduation. I hope I dont fuck it up. Hah.
I want to run away to Japan. I am going to take Erika with me. We've decided that we're going to find Camui Gackt and rape him. ^.^;; WOO HOO. I mean jesus...he must wake up every morning to the thought of..."Yeah..I know I'm the hottest guy in Japan."
NO school on Monday. Thank whatever God there is up there.
This has been entirely to long. This is just about 5.5 seconds worth of my thoughts. Wow. I'd like to see how long ALL my thoughts are. Hah! Idea. Thats were my published book comes in.
Courtney