Happy Birthday Cande!
^^;; Heh Hooray! It's Cande's Twentith birthday today. ^_^
Alot of things have happened in since I've last updated. Of course, most of you could probably find this impossible due to the fact that I update religiously... perhaps too much.. but I trust you. New information I have for your eager minds today.
First we can begin with my daily horoscope. [ that amazingly is always accurate, which is funny considering it comes off the internet and through my aol service. ]
Cancer(June 21 - July 22
Yes, even you Cancerian Clams and Crabs get excited. In fact, now you could get so enthusiastic that you break through your shells and burst upon the scene with a few new ideas of your own. Okay, I understand that this is not your typical style�and I may have exaggerated just a bit, but I'm sure you get the picture. This is actually a time when you feel compelled to risk exposure and to take a chance. Go for it. You can always clam up again later if you've overextended yourself.
I've been needing a reason to just go out and get the balls to ask my mom about Spring Break plans. There is a risk of exposure due to the fact of a white lie that was inserted. I told my mother that I met Cande through a pen pal service that my teacher was about to throw away. We've been talking ever since. : nods : Well that's not exactly how we met. I first started to get to know her over the internet, eventually moving to letters, and then to phone calls. I knew that if I told my mom I met her off the internet, she would have gone beserko and asked me honestly what the hell I was thinking. She has every right to do so but.. ugh... e.e I was being a rebellious teenager doing something that I wasn't suppose to do. Thats the way of life. If her mom and my mom chat and my mother brings up the whole 'pen pal' deal and how neat she thinks it all is.. [ Cande's mother knows exactly how we met. And that my mother thinks we met through pen pals. ] There is a chance we could be screwed.. or rather I would be screwed. Oh I don't know. I want this so badly that I really am going to risk this exposure. In a way, I worry more then I should, because that's just who I am. It could turn out that her mom and my mom dont even talk about anything but the basic's. It's really nothing to be worried about, something as small as that.. but I'm worrying anyway. [ The whole reason Cande's mom and My mom would be talking would be to arrange plans for the Spring Break Trip. ] - Which infact is still be thought about.
I was talking to Keisuke last night about ' proof ' and how uncertainity in this situation will always exist. He told me that most who know him, don't really know him. And those who do, battle with the uncertainity for the rest of their lives. Now those five months? That was battling with uncertainity, until finally coming upon a Firm decision [ no pun intended.. of course.. ] that he is who he says he is. There's really no other logical explaination. This isn't optimistim.. it's realism. No one would have that much amount of time, thought, feeling, and need to fuck with people's head like this. Sure there are some sicko's out there.. but not with this extent. He told me that he wouldn't know what proof we wanted or even if he could give it. I replied with the fact that this situation is similair to God. Those who consider themselves believers dont want God to be ashamed of them to ask for proof of his existance. But those who consider themselves believers want proof to know they are not putting everything into something false. It's a battle of conscience.. either you make a decision without the proof or you just don't believe. But only if the other is not willing to give proof.
He said that the next time Yuuriko [ Cande.. I have realized these past few entries I have been going back and forth between her two names. x.x I apologize ] and myself were together he would send Oracle or Slyfer down. This would be a wonderful point of proof... not to mention that the letter I am supposed to be recieving from him and Naka soon. It's funny, really.. right when I believe that my 'believing' is at it's strongest.. he provides the oppertunity of proof.
The next time we are together will be [ or hopefully from how things are starting to look. x_x ] during Spring Break. He said since he is back in the states, when things calm down to remind him and as long as the team isn't working on anything important he'd send one of them down here. Now this is pretty exciting. Two birds with one stone. I get to see Cande and spend oodles of times with her. ^_^! and we both get the proof of her Romeo boy lover for sure. No doubts. No blind guessing. I understand that is impossible to meet him at the moment, but meeting either Oracle or Slyfer would be just as much as proof.
So yes, now I've got even more riding on my Spring Break plans. Please.. lady luck... smile upon my dice.. I'm letting the show go to you.
Courtney