I've got alot on my mind at the moment. More and more does the need grow desperate to talk to him. It's not even for myself anymore, not for my doubt, not even for my my own secret wishes... but for Cande. *sighes* I'm falling back again. I don't want to be alone today, but knowing myself I probably will be. Mock trial this afternoon... I have to push back my therapy appointment. I hope Mom actually remembered to call and ask Mrs. Nemethy if we could schedule the appointment later. Probably know.. knowing her.. she's still sleeping.
I need to start saving money so I can buy more Jrock cd's.... for $50's a pop.. this stuff doesn't come keep. Arrrgh. I'm feeling incomplete again. I started on my *book*.. or whatever word you fancy there. Insert it.. use it.. whatever. More like piecing my thoughts together, remembering all I know, and trying to make sense of it. But if you want to calli t a book.. sure.. thats eventually what I'm trying to reach.
I'm so tired.. I just want to go to sleep curled up to someone that needs me at the moment. But I can't go to sleep because I'm afraid of missing something .. ( Yeah, like what? Ugh I'm an idiot.. ) and there's not a soul who needs me like that.. so I can just keep dreaming.
" Theres a little bit in hell inside of us all. " - Dorian Gray.
Courtney