Perhaps I am stupider than I thought I was. I dont know, but certain angry vibes lead me always back to the same presumption. But enough of the mellodrama...lets get back to the real world. I stayed up until 4 last night, Rping with Cande. Louis and Jesse. If anyone wants the logg Ill post it here later. It was wonderful. ^^;; I also had a horrible dream following that. Not soon after I dozed off...I started to dream. Perhaps it was my rping that had triggered my active imagination. I haven't dreamed dreams in such a long time...this is why this dream was a surprise. ><;; The dream went something like this...
Naka had emailed me and told me that Isato was in danger...or something like that. I dont remember now if it was me...or him in danger. But what ever the case..before I knew it I was running from some sort of hitman or whatever. Lets cut to the chase. Isato was the hit man. It was as confusing as it was weird. I could have just..sat back and gone..wow...But for now..Im just sitting here, trying not to fight tears. Tears that are coming because of things that are happening. I didnt mean to get Savannah's email wrong, and then give it to Josh. But all of a sudden im some kind of retard. I dont understand. Perhaps I shouldnt take it so offensive..but lately Ive become really touchy to anything, and Im not even PMSing. I dont know what to do about it. I feel really sad though. Depressed almost. I think its because I feel like Vannah misses everyone back home, as can humanly be expected...but...I feel like its my fault to have brought her along. I dont know why I feel this way, but its nagging at me so much I feel like I could cry. Its like everyone hates me or something. That feeling that you get before everything crashes down on you. Maybe this is my breaking point. I dont really know...or care. :sighes: I dont know whats wrong with me...and all this lack of not knowing is going to get me no where. Perfection.
Courtney
" Its another social casuality...Score one more for me. " - John Mayer ( My Stupid Mouth )