So okay. I'm eating sours skittles and drinking vanilla coke. I haven't had this little number since my rping days.
I recieved an apology from Ian, so I'm no longer going to write anything in here about him after this. He had the balls to confess up that calling me a bitch was wrong, when he didn't even have valid reason to do it in the first place. I see him a somewhat better man for it, because honestly I didnt think he'd do it. But yes. That's the end end end end end of Courtney and Ian talking.
My room is completely packed now. I spent from 3:00 until about 7:00 packing. It was mass murder.. in the middle of it I broke down and cried. I realized that this was it. Putting shit into boxes initiated the actual moving part of everything. I couldn't deny it anymore. I have eight more days left here and I'm terrified. Scared of what I'll have to do and what I'll have to put effort forth in doing. But that's a large part of growing up, isn't it?
I did something last night that was sort of a first time deal for me. Not really that big in worth mentioning in details here. I want to leave a mystery and not tell a story, remember! But regardless, it was something I'm proud of. I got over some fears and ignored my usual hesitation in these matters.
I have a lot of running around to do tomorrow. Simply picking up reccomendations, my ortho appointment, and my ear surgery. [ which I'm still fucking nervous about.. >_>;; ] I'm debating on taking my shower tonight, because I know it will feel wonderful hopping into bed that way. Yuu had school all this week. -_- So I'm pretty much alone as far as the friend department goes. I missed Kei leaving last night... Tseng dragged him off. All I can do is constantly pray.. over and over that things will turn out right. I'm sick of leaving it up to fate, but who else could handle such an immense amount of doubt and hope?
All my shit is in boxes. Fucking whores. I hate my room more and more everytime I look at it. It's not my room anymore. The walls are white.. and the furniture is empty. The drawers are without clothing and junk, the closet without shoes and belts.. My bookcases without my books to fill them... It's tradgic.. and I can't stand it. I just want to get this move over with. But I won't be able to do it alone.
" Wind in time, rapes the flower trembling from the vine. "
Courtney