Well....
Not all is as broken as they were earlier. My depressive moods come and go. Most never know Im depressed until they read my journal. The only place where I am able to speak anything of my ramblings..without worry of pain, fear, loss, or habitual anger. Im still sick. I think that my pnemonia is coming back again. ::sighes:: I dont want it to be back. I went through enough hell with that. I leave tuesday. I am getting this computer, and a new monitor..speakers and a wireless mouse. I helped my grandfather buy a new HP. And Ill be damned if its not the fastest one made yet. I cant wait to set it up for him. ::sighes a bit:: I miss home. I miss my room, where I can curl into a ball into my room, phone against ear, speaking to someone who understands, burried under the covers, as if Im trying to leave this world. It almost works half the time..to. ::sigh:: Anyway. Im so short. To short. my grandmother had to cut my new pants and hem them. ::sighs:: I need to grow taller. Though, this is not my main concern. I think my sister is still on her sugar high from yesterday. Shes all giggly and cheerleaderish. Oh shit..nm. She IS A CHEERLEADER. ::sighes:: The things that I put up with around here. If my mother says bluntly to anyone, that I am "GOTH" Im gonna kill her. Do I run around in black everything, talk about morbid things, slash my self with razors, and hide away from the world everday wishing I could die. No. I think not. I dont know what I am. But I am not goth. I may dress it. But I am not. I REPEAT I am not. Goth. Anymore stereo-typing that comes from her will be back talked by me, reguardless of the fact that she is my mother or not. That is now on the list of one of my pet peeves.
Note to anyone reading: Dont stereo type me...unless you say im "cute" ::smiles to Cande:: Even then, its a boundry line that I wouldnt reccomend crossing, if you want to have your head still attached to your neck. ^.-
Gah. Im so tired. But I dont want to go to bed. Im waiting up for Sylvia or Cande to come on. ::Le sigh:: We Shall see what comes of this night.
Adieu
Courtney