Okay, so I just finished my algebra exam. I'm sitting here staring at this computer in half relief, I've only one more test to go and I'm home free for freshman year. I was gravely bothered last night and this morning, calling Larry in a sobbing mess. He was the only person who seemed to want to talk to me at the time. Everyone else just told me they didn't feel like talking at the moment.. so yes, by the time I got down the list of phone numbers of trustworthy people I know... I was reduced to tears. Never fun, but it was needed.
Today was what I had told myself would be the day I have to start understanding that I'm moving. Before I just told myself that when school's out, that's when I can concentrate on moving, on leaving this place and the people in it behind me. But that days right here, I'm in it right now and I'm not ready! I can't accept the fact that I no longer have teachers, tests, pencils, and papers to bind me to those who I enjoy seeing most. There's no longer a need to wake up in the morning, there's nothing to do anymore. Everyone won't know why we're with each other without nothing to do. It's confusing, the whole concept really. Because on one hand, I'm sure if they're really as good of friends as I say they are then they'll come around. But this is it! They're no longer obligated [ along with myself ] to see me and everyone else five days a week. It's a small concept with little backing, but a scary one. I'm scared. But it's okay. Because fear is the root of optimism. It isn't until you're truly scared out of your mind and sheer terror is the only emotion that you can feel, is when you start looking for your overall sunshine and daisies.
I'm leaving soon, so I'm saying fuck it to trying to keep my comments to myself. Usually in the morning, I sit in the backseat so Stacy can have the front and doesn't have to get pissy at the fact I've taken over another thing she wants/can't have. Instead, well, I just sat there.. and Stacy didn't get the front. I did. You should have seen the glare on her face, it was like she wanted to eat me alive. But hey! That's cool. I could care less. That's another plus about moving. I don't have to put up with retarded and small miniscule bullshit like that. Dieus Merci. [ Mwahah. Incorporating french into my entries. Oh so cool. ]
Speaking of French, thats the exam I have next. Ugh only 10:10.. the time needs to go faster. I have second lunch today. I forgot to eat breakfast so that's going to suck. And I don't even have enough money for lunch to begin with. But it's all alright, I'm going home early today anyway. I wonder if I'll be going to graduation to watch tonight. Probably.. because I know a few people who would jump me if I didn't. XD Lol no no, but really. Yeah, might as well.. not as if I have some better things to do for my official kick off start-of-summer routine.
I had the weirdest dream last night, I can barely remember it though. Although, heh, I remember about Stacy going after me with a knife.. and I broke a chair over her back. [ what a part of my dream to remember, eh? lmfao ] But anymore then that, I'm at a loss. I just know that I woke up in a strange mood, severely tired, and very sore. [ wonder if she stabbed me fifty million times in my dream. :laughs and falls over: ] But yesm, weird certainly. And we all know how my dreams go. Last summer I had a dream [ before I knew about Kei's "work" ] that a hitman was going after me, I didn't know who it was though! But then Naka emailed me and told me Kei was in trouble. But it was odd, because I turn around and *BAM* there's Kei as the hitman. Talk about predicting. Two weeks later I discovered the truth. Scary and uncanny. I don't want to die by Stacy stabbing me with a knife, so I hope my dream was wrong this time. XD JUST KIDDING. Sarcasm guys, sarcasm. Even though that's Erika's alley, not mine.
Erika had a deja vu spell yesterday. Her and I were looking up things on the Vampire Chronicles in Mrs. Duerr's room, and she goes.. " Has this happened before? I mean like you and me looking up that in this room? " and I look at her strange.. " No.. why? ".. She groans and rubs her forehead in frustration. " Deja vu.. " I get what she's talking about because it's happened only twice to me.. but I nod and ask, " Does it happen all the time. " She nods and says yes. See? People at Ft. Campbell are special. We see things. XD lmfao. Even if there miniscule, looking up vampire chronicles in Mrs. Duerr's room, type kind of things.
But it's alllllll gooooodddd. Gravy like your mashed potatoes. I'm out for today. Probably wont update until tomorrow. Big night for other people tonight, must check my planner. ^.-
Courtney