My third entry for today. You'd really think I'd have something better to do? Many pro's and cons to today, I can't really say if I have had a good one or a bad one. I went walking earlier. I just wished he'd come then. Just come and end it all. In a morbid sense. Or something would happen. God I'm such the drama queen.
Me : *Ohhhhh shoot me*
Him : *silence no one is there its all in COURTNEYS IMAGINATION*
I'm going crazy. Savannah's starting to get into Jrock. I have to send out her package soon. Cande's meds. made her act so different. I wanted to cry. Really. She was such a different person. Like a stoner.. or a drinker.. only she was on her Heart Medication. I fought the urge to break down right there. What is to become of me? Falling apart of everything? Well I haven't completely I suppose. Not cut in awhile. Not since therapy.. I think.. This place is killing me. I almost wish I could run away. Almost. And whats funny is.. this place would be heaven to everyone but me. Food. Shelter. Living Space. Clothes. Computer. Phone. Dvd. Movies. Books. Bath. Music. Television. I've got it all it seems. But you can't buy the answer to curiousity, can you? Negatory.. you can't. And theres only one person who can give it... and I wont find him for awhile. I backed out of calling him while I went for my walk today. Couldn't do it. Dad leaves tomorrow morning. I still dont know if I'm going to school. I'm dissapearing.. I wish someone would bring me back. I wish so hard on so many things. But I can only wish so much, before I run out of stars that I look up at, when the sky goes black. I can only play fantasy for so long.
Courtney