Alright, I'm back from my accomplishing mood. But I have to say that I was extremely pissed earlier. I can't disclose much in here, because I can damn well tell you they won't be finalized plans. Today was another dream day.
Hey guess what?
I'm drinking vanilla coke.
I'm listening to Britney Spears.
I'm not wearing my watch.
I didn't rebel against the dress code today.
Mark and I are on better terms.
We read Romeo and Juliet today.
My dad went all Hitler on me and told me what I could and couldn't do for the weekend of my birthday.
Should I be a teenager and rebel?
Be immature, self centered, everything I'm not but they always tell me I am?
Hell yes, they can't take this away from me.
Has my mom started work yet? No.
Do I care? No.
I'm about ready to just throw this good girl image out the door. One too many times my parents take for granted how much of a morale person I am.
I could run around like a slut sleeping with guys.
I could stay out pass curfew.
I could not tell them where I was going.
I could disgrace them to no end.
I could curse infront of them.
I could stop trying in school.
I could fail Freshman Year.
I could have them send me away.
I could drive them insane and back.
I could take everything they give and leave nothing.
But these are all the things, I could do. I don't do any of them.
I do turn all the lights off after I leave the room.
I do clean after my parents because they have no sense of orginazation.
I do turn my music down when it's too early/late to be playing it.
I don't give attitude even when I know my parents are wrong.
I am a model daughter.
I make wonderful grades.
I have a nice set of manners.
I have a good taste in music, writing, clothes, books, and guys.
I have an awesome judgement in situations.
I don't lie unless the situation is detrimental to my parent's well being.
I do everything they ask, when they do it.
I do my own Laundry without them even having to tell me.
I make my own dinner for myself, almost every night.
I don't bother them by asking for more then one thing a pay day.
I don't disobey unless I know it's for a justiable reason.
I talk to my parents when something is wrong with them.
I put up with their fighting growing up.
I now go to therapy because of their 'model example.'
Did you know, everytime someone yells, screams, gets hostile, or the mood of them changes in an angry way I freeze up?
I Lock up and act like I'm six again.
I sit and cry.
Because my parents, whom I obey and respect, listen to and do everything they tell me to, I cannot handle a normal healthy emotion.
You have a problem with me? It will probably end something between us because I can't face it.
You want to yell at me? I'll probably end up in therapy shortly after.
Thanks Mom and Dad, really, I thank you.
Thanks Dad for being an immature prick and flirting with other girls when Mom was right there.
Thanks Mom, for packing all my bags that night and driving to the airport.
Thanks Mom and Dad for yelling to the point where things were thrown.
Thanks Mom for being depressed, insensitive, uncooperative, ignorant, and totally oblivious to everything important in my life.
Thanks Craig, for being the idiot that created life and left.
Thanks Dad, for just not knowing a damn thing about me.
You don't know what kind of guy I'd like to marry?
You don't know who my best friend is.
You don't know what I prefer vanilla ice cream over chocolate.
Thanks Mom.. Thanks Dad.. Thanks Craig.. for contributing each in equal parts to all these bad sides of me.
Thanks for being the bitch, the immature idiot, and the drugged up prick. Just.. thanks.
Courtney