silentlylost's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The `Raw` Emotion I've got a better handle on life and things and general. Desipte that this development has only recently occurred to me these past two days. And although I've hit hurdle upon hurdle-- and that things tend to get harder time after time. There is clearly nothing I can do about that. I do what I can and progress forward. That's what life hsa been up to this point. A series of set back and progressions. I'm not complaining. Just stating fact. But for lack of bitter sarcasm, I'm actually doing okay. From where I've been before and where I could go, I'm in decent shape. Although I have nothing to say for my ever growing worry that I wish could smother to the end of existance-- there's nothing more I can do. I do what I can and I make deal with that. Live with ambition and go after it. Like someone once told me this corny saying. `Shoot for the moon, you'll land amist the stars.` So I keep shooting higher and higher, believing that I will fall upon someplace decent. And so far, it's working. For some reason, I've enjoyed this stay in Maine least of all others. I've been trying to discover the root of this rather disappointing find-- but I keep coming up short. But I imagine later down the road I'll find it and go `ah I see now`. So nothing really to stress about. I'm having an okay time here, yes. But part of me misses home. But that could be my longing for a constant and some form of formal/family stability. When I talk to her, the whole world vanishes. And it's just her and I. Against it. I was thinking about this earlier. About how frightening it is to know how far or how much I'd do for her. But in that same terrifying sense, you get this over coming rush of awe. Because you know that this emotion is real. I've already gone past my `what is love` phase-- [ reading Naly's entry, she's just stumbling upon it. ] And I agree with her, whether she was sarcastic about it or not. [ I couldn't tell. ] Love is a raw emotion. Period. And it's only when you add the extra ornaments is when it gets too tough. Keep it simple. And I've done just that. A simple `I love you` is enough. Lovingly yours, 4:18 p.m. - Friday, Jul. 15, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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