Somedays are just days, and then...somedays...are wonderful. I'm here now, and I'm in a good mood. As I've spoken before...I cried over a wonderful book. I couldn't believe the emotion that it put into me. Savannah things that I'm appropriately crazy now, but I guess that in the end...its okay. I really want to start taking violin lessons. Seriously. I'm getting weary of not playing anything. :sighes contently: I've been just sitting around and doing alot of nothing lately...but thats the kind of treatment that I need. I blocked Emily completely today. I just sort of woke up out of my daze, and went.."What the hell is wrong with you?. Shes the person who betrayed you in a way that you can never forget." It was sort of something that slapped me in the face. I picked myself out of that forgiving situation before It got to late, and the vicious cycle started again. I will never stop loving a person, because you can't do that. I just..I'm not sure that I want to be with her anymore. I don't want have a thing to do with her. Its best to put those memories in the past. This is the last speed bump for the drive, folks. I'm going on my road trip of life. Four years to make the best of, and I need to start leaving Life's Light on. I saw a picture of me today, back when I was in 5th grade. I was so active then. I can remember when I didn't give a damn about the things I do now. And when looking upon that picture, I smiled and vowed to myself that I would try to let that little girl that I so shut out, ready for a maturer world, come back. After a vigourous conversation with Josh...it made me realize that I wasn't stopping to enjoy life's ride. So now, here is my first rest stop. I'm having a fit with the beautiful scenery today...I even felt the need to forgive. I owe it all to an author who showed me, that...people can be there cruelest, without meaning to do so. :sighes: Yes. I'm forgiving everyone right now. Right here. But forgiveness doesn't have to neccessarily mean that I get to love you all over again. No. It means that I'm allowed to move on. Move on in that nice mustang life just gave me for holding on. Again with the road trip...the stops over...my exit is miles and miles away. This is the road trip to life...and I've got four years to make it to my desination.
Courtney