1:25 p.m. & Monday, Jul. 26, 2004
For all my faithful readers:
*Muah*
I want to thank those who continously read my diary with a big kiss. Hah. Disregarding the fact that I look horribly tired in the picture it's for you guys. Sitting here listening to the Atari's. Ever since I've got here I've been downloading songs off Kazaa like mad. It's illegal, I know, but when you have DSL. >_> You can't help it.
I think it's safe to say I'm no longer upset at Brant. Not that he ever knew I was. We all make mistakes. Brant and I was a mistake. But out of all of those that I have made so far, he's my favorite. I won't forget his kisses nor his words. I'll try my hardest to keep those in my memories and say that he meant that part. But with the foggy truth that I've gathered from everyone but him --- most of what we had together wasn't meant. But looking back, I set myself up for it. I was a rental car that he drove until he reached his destination. Figuratively of course.
Haven't seen the beach yet. It's going to rain all week. Much cooler here in Maine though. None of that 98 degree weather. 70's and 80's. Friday it'll be 82. I think I'll see if I go to the beach then. If not to swim [ though the water is practically freezing ] then to just lay on the beach and relax. Build a sandcastle. Forget my age. Ignore the fact that I'm going to have to start school soon. My summer's finally started-- and already it's going to becoming to a close. School starts soon. I'm nervous. But I'm ready. How long have I waited to make friends? Awhile. But this summer has reminded me of the one when I first started rping. I had no friends or rather the ones I did have were gone. I don't mind solitude, anymore. The happiest person to be with is myself. But sometimes, to reach a certain level of satisfaction in ones life, you have to find the other person you're happiest with. Internet doesn't count. And although I'm sure I wont be able to tell my new friends about Keisuke and Cande, it won't matter. A secret is a secret.
I think my sleeping habits are slowly going back to normal. Well, sorta. Last night I got tired at 1:00. Usually when I go to bed around 3 or 4 I'm still wide awake. Probably because I only got three hours of sleep yesterday. Went to bed at 3 and woke up at 6 unable to go back to sleep. Nervousness. I need to stop thinking about everything before I go to bed. Doesn't work too well.
Memere bought me hair dye yesterday-- so I'm going to be returning to my loveable Jesse Red. I have pics of it in the gallery if anyone doesn't know what I'm talking about. Expect more pictures here. We all know that I <3 my grandparents digital camera. I can't wait to take pictures of the beach. Those'll be like god in my diary. ^___^ I'm pretty content.
I can finally say my summer is going okay. But then again, don't all my summers start off bad and end off good? For the past three years anyway, yes.
Courtney
lover you don't have to love - Sunday, Jul. 06, 2014
- - Thursday, Dec. 22, 2005
Catch up? - Tuesday, Sept. 20, 2005
nothing - Monday, Aug. 29, 2005
missing dland - Thursday, Aug. 04, 2005