silentlylost's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Let the Shore Tide in let the shore tide take you in.
There are days where I can't seem to let go of the past. For a moment the world will dislocate itself from my brain and I'm shoved violently into memory land again. And I recall a time, a memory. From a colour, a name, or even from a simple word. Just a feeling. There are times when I feel as if I'm wandering lost-- back in forth, in circles, amid all these memories that won't leave me alone. Some good, some bad. Or some just overplayed so well that I can't give a label to either. Some I've dreamed, other's have happened. It just, mixes into some odd coloured blur. A day far away from now, that I'm trying to reach out for. But just as I try to touch it, it fades back into the imagination it came from. And I'll forget about it until the next week, month, year, or several years that I remember it again. It's been especially hard lately. This place holds several memories. And I drown in them. I try to convince myself that they're done and over with. That life changed itself and I've nothing to fear. And then of course the more recent memories that are not so fond and not as kind as others-- that flash themselves violently at me. Things I don't want to remember, but always seem to be lurking around the corner. In a photograph. In a simple colour sitting on the table. In a letter scratched on a scrap piece of paper. In a simple word. On the walls. In the floorboards. It's just one big memory. I've been trying to reach you. No more dreams, Courtney. No more memories. Live in the present. Stop trying to compare and contrast. You'll end up with nothing, when you already have something. Although, contrary to the feeling of this entry. I'm calm & happy. Just pensive. thoughtfully yours, 12:41 a.m. - Thursday, Jul. 14, 2005 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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