Wow. Somebody change my shorts. - Daniel, Interview with a Vampire. Thats sorta how I am at the moment. Well, for all you anxious readers and friends that have been on edge from my previous entries...I give you good news. Instead of risking the chance of the wrong messages coming across to Ian. I just flat out told him. Well rather, I didn't tell him, because we all know I have problems with confronting other people. But he read my diary, which I am finally understanding that its an efficient use. I Haven't been writing everything that runs through this fucked up head for nothing. Wee. Cande is at Otakon right now. She was suppose to get a Takashi Sorimachi cd. :thinks: I hope she has fun..she really needs it right now. Heh. Sorry, thought I'd throw that back in so my whole entry is based and circulated around one thing. Again back to the whole theory that life runs in squares when Im clearly running in circles. How loverly. But the verdict of confessing what I felt and what I had been skirting around for the past three days... He says that it isn't impossible..just..not right now. And you know, that really makes me smile. And its a huge friggen relief. I don't have to worry about weirding him out. I mean, after all, I did threaten him with a steak knife if he got alienated...Steak knife. Oh man, what the hell was I thinking? :laugh: I dont really know how to describe this at the moment, simply because I am at a loss for words. Not in a bad way of course, in the best way possible. Knowing that something isn't impossible, is better then not knowing a damn thing at all, simply because you sat around to scared to do anything on your own and you couldn't work up enough guts to confess for yourself. So Heather? Toby? Your work has been done for you. I apologize sincerely for making you guys make connections. Not that it ever happened or anything. But still. Its the thought that counts the most. I appreciate it. I never realized how much Ian and I had in common. Oh god, here I go again. Forgive me, please. I'm getting used to actually having someone to talk about 24/7. Usually...I have no one. And I am alone. What a quick change. But...back to the in common things. Anne Rice. Poetry. Jrock/Jpop. Some of the same music. Friends. :thinks: Thats all I can come up with for now. But its a start.. Right? :laugh: Guys, Im going off the deep end. Now I just await decisions that are being made. :le sigh: I'm off. I might post another poem if I feel like writing tonight. I've got an idea..so..you know me. Ideas can either be good or bad. Depends on how my mind and creative balance takes it.
Courtney