It's summer. So here I am... and I still can't believe it.
I woke up a little later then yesterday today. I feel really sore. I didn't sleep as well as I had hoped. No dreams tonight, thank god. They're becoming more of a nusience then helping me like they used to.
Kei is being recalled tomorrow. And I have this feeling deep down it will work out just fine. I mean, not as to cast aside the fact that yes I'm terrified of what can/will happen. Worse case sceanrio is that he forgets us forever and never seeks us out again. But strangly, I can't see that happening. We've all been through too much at this point. So when he goes away from 3-4 weeks.. I'm going to ask him to email me.. and possibly text Yuuriko.. because we're both going to be away. I might not have housing in Georgia yet.. and Yuu might already be in Japan by this point. Crucial.. but I don't know. Everything's so complicated at this point. So many things going on at once. I feel like I'm trying to tie a million leashes on my life down at once, so they don't escape away. But seemingly, I'm managing just fine. This will be a test of my therapy right here.
My fingertips have been going numb for the past two days. I don't know what's up with that, only that it feels funny. I wonder if it has to do with the Antithrombin III defiecency.. I haven't even gone in for testing about that yet. Iyah. I'm scared that if I have it, I'll have to be put on blood thinner. I'd be chained to taking pills everyday. It's murder. Icky. But I'll deal. It's a genetic thing in my family that I hope has skipped over my generation. But there's a chance that if I have children someday, they'll have it. But thinking too far ahead of myself at the moment, so I'll just take a chill pill.
I bought the Death cab for Cutie CD on Friday. I've been listening to it religiously ever since. It's been quite sometime since I've done that with any cd. It feels nice, to be addicted to music again? Officially summer then I'm supposing.
My Dad bought packing paper.. so really this time today I start packing. I need to do laundry.. and start that putting shit in boxes stuff. :sigh:
I'm scared to death about a million things right now. But all I can do is wait them out.
Courtney