Things have been upside down in my life lately, I don't know where to begin or end.
Of course there's the normal stuff-- Kei & Yuu, Dayna, family. All that has been and will be there forever. But within the past week a lot has happened that I'm somewhat enamored at still.
I can't place what day it was, but sometime last week I got into a bus accident. It wasn't anything big, but it was somewhat scary. Then hurricane Frances is ripping through Florida, where most of my relatives live. All are okay as far as I know, so there's really nothing to be panicked around. My Memere and Pepere are staying here until Saturday; that's a nice treat. I rather enjoy having them here, but I do miss my bed somewhat.
OH! And I've spotted it. The computer for me. The package comes with a printer included with the laptop! $898. ._. That's a lot of money and so far I'm confused if I'm even going to get it. Probably not, unless my Pepere decides to buy it for me.
But on a sour note, Dayna and I have cut sls. I know in the entirity, it is my fault. I know in a few days, I'll be crawling back to her. If I had tears, I'd cry. But I feel so used, much like things were a long time ago. I dont want to lose my dignity. If she's waiting for me to crawl back to her, it might be awhile. I'm sick of my flaws and I hate my lack of control right now.
But since when have I ever had control?
Last I heard Brant was trying to hook up with Megan Cleary? Wow, that makes me feel like total trash for some reason.
I told Beth about what happened between me and Greg. That made me feel like trash too.
I cant satisfy myself. I cant meet anyone's demands.
I need comfort. Jesus Christ.
How do I manage to cut everyone I love away?
It's just.. wonderful, isn't it?
Courtney