I have something major to confession, because its annoying the hell out of me. It would seem now that I have become a hypocrite. No lie. :sighes: I used to hate people who got all giggly and rolled there eyes over guys repulsive. But today? I was taken a fancy. Now I know that this is an impossible relationship to want considering 1. He's a senior 2. I'm a freshman. But...I just.. Wow. It was a big rush for me. I don't want to state all too much on here because Im afraid that if I let people know that I have been taken strongly by this person...then the news might spread. And the last thing that I need is gossip coming around and biting me in the ass. Gossip is the worst form of communication. He complimented me today though, on my poetry. :smiles wide: Oh dear god who am I turning into? Just because someone compliments me on my poetry I get all cross eyed and fall into 'Must have guy' mode? I sicken myself. But all the more I'm happy. It's that odd inbetween feeling that I have. Oh dear me. The unsurprised little girl has fallen...and I've hit the floor. Heather told me that she'd make connections. But really? :sighes: Its quite the gap to fill. I conversed with my mother about it and she said that it was quite natural. After all I am not your average 14 year old...and I refuse to be modest as concieted as it seems or sounds. But I am more mature then most my age. She told me that she had the same problem...and when I told her all about him..about how he writes poetry to..she didn't seem the least apprehensive. :sighes: I dont know..I'm still a little surprised and angry at myself for acting the way I have. I usually have realistic goals and settings. That is what I base my punctual life around. And the things and events that happened today were neither. We shall see what the outcome of this is, and after all...I could just be setting myself up for failure, which is something that I rarely do. I hate taking risks and not knowing the outcome of what I might do. :shakes head: Mmm. Well. I'll just put a first name on here for now. His name is Ian. >>;; God please save me...I dont want to end up going insane over this guy who is probably in the end not going to be worth it..or damage me someway. But I pray either way.
Courtney